Haven’t written anything in a long time. It’s a long process of headache that I have been going thro’, be it physically or spiritually. Listening to BSB’s new album, the pain overwhelming in my head still would not let go.

Deep down, I’ve got a goal, seemingly, I am sticking to. But I find it so hard, with each step, I just wanna yell out “I might as well quit”.

I haven’t told my Mom that I quit my job. Seems like I have been doing some daily errands that any other moron could do, and can do well, also. And there ain’t no props.

Our emotions are just like volcanos, with way too much magma reaching to the specific point, we are not gonna hide from ourselves—the ejaculation of despair, the reckless anger finally erupting.

Maybe I am young, just like someone says I look young, and I might be doing sth in an impulsive manner.

Seems like I am getting astrayed, deeper and deeper I am feeling the way, only to find myself walking towards the pitch dark jungle filled with blood and death.

気にしない。僕さ、何かを起こしていでも、気にしないで、くじけないよ。幸福は姿を見せず、どうしようもないと思っていますよ、僕さ、いま。

My head wants me to stay, even today I could feel that she has been kind to me, which makes me wanna cry…

I am clever enough to figure out whatever is wrong with the status quo of this firm. And I read and I think and I learn and keep on learning all these technical terms, doing my daily errands so well, and keep on with my Japanese…and I decided, it’s time, to let go…

Well, today I really felt moved that she even took time to check out the bus information for me, knowing that I could be leaving, she still does not wanna let go, telling me all those another-way-of-thinking.

And I am preparing to tell my Mom that her son is gonna start all over again, I wanna find a green field elsewhere.

残れる一ヶ月、僕さ、働い継く、知識を習っていく、僕の未来はきっと無限に広がっていくのだと思ってる。