Where there’s a Ray

 There’s gonna be my way

Headache comes without a warning again. I am feeling all this frustration burning within I wanna become a superman right now, and the next I am punching my reality humiliating as if I were beating up some monster. But then would not the scene when the hero is feeling his power level desperately shooting down display too often that it has become anybody’s guess, and now the kids would be so involved with the life and death of the superman they would never get tired of doing all the cheerings for the former.

Never say never, with your ability and my support, you are gonna swim the mountains and climb the seas（游山跨越海洋，何错之有，这是后批判现实主义的文学渲染技法）, finally reaching the place you have craved for. And that’s what she said. Lucky me or lucky me not, I seem to have always got her backing me up ever since we became friends. But she is not Her and is the night still young? Time and again I hear myself saying, “I am not strong enough.”

I am feeling all unprotected and lonesome. I say I’ve been wandering all alone in the street, taking in all unfriendly glances meaning no mercy at all. The web of interpersonal relations is well connected, I might fall to be the pathetic prey of ’em all. Everything well designed by ’em,  and I am living my life between the lines of patterns, measuring my moments in it by the means of a coffee spoon.

Am I losing the faith within myself or did I never hold such belief that I could weave my dream of Great Expectations? Nothing, I know, is gonna become the heart-stabber of my life until I let it so. But shame upon me, something in my life, I could not help but make it compose the notturno controlling my whole being.

I do not remember when I last smiled, truly, tenderly, and deeply. I do not like a lot of things as it is today, but I am not strong enough to change it yet. Ironically, she says I can.

Well, why not let me feel now what sharp distress I may? Monotonous and flat life turns and turns, with idiots and morons pouring into my life. I have managed to deal with each and every one of these with the surface of the calm while my world is actually already crashing.

Another unsuspecting Sunday afternoon has found me taking off with my mind so far away from reality again. If only I had planted in my head with cold hard facts, which can only do good in reality, for I would be gonna face it more valiantly and elegantly.

When the clock is struck on thoughts between the lines of my sentimental pasts, let it be, cos I am awake but my world is half asleep.

Ain’t matter. If I should change, I know I am not strong enough, never, but I still could get the strength from a touch of holding hands warm, an exchange of words sweet, and a glance of the appearance filling me up with love. If I should change, I will change all this with my utmost ability.

Wealth, which lies in Not the opinions deciding whether it will bring happiness or not, thus I shall seek.

Love, which lies in Not how everybody is praising it, putting it in a high pedestal, fooling all that it can surpass everything with no strings attached, but in the moment you feel the touch of warmth when you hold her hands, the sweetness of heart when she seals her kisses upon your lips in spite of the years, and you try to make life both of you live in cozy and comfy, thus I shall win.

And then smile, I know this will only be enough, for me to face life in a chivalry manner, even if I have a thousand reasons to cry.

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