I had thought that if I love someone, I am gonna spend the rest of my life making her feel like laughing happily alongside with me.

俺さ、好きな人ができたら

その人と、ずっと笑って暮らせるって思ってたのね。

I was wrong.

This is the age when everyone is talking about true love yet hardly anyone lives in it; This is the winter of despair when everyone is expressing a kind of love that he/she can call his/her own; This is the era when everyone is seemingly holding up the flag boasting of himself/herself that he/she is the greatest lover(这是一个每个人都打着“我是情圣”旗号的纪元); This is the epoch when everyone is wanting everyone else to peep into his/her secrets(这是一个没有“不能说的秘密”的时代).

We are truly the Beat Generation, not yours, Earnest Hemingway.

垮掉的一代不属于你，海明威，我们这一代才是垮掉的当之无愧。

The Beat Generation we are living in, or rather, we are thrown into has a meaning when we, born in the 80’s(not to talk about the 90's, they have had love in middle school, or even primary school, what's worse, they begin to taste romantic love in kindergarten owing to the great effects of TV shows), begin to fall in love in high school, and then fall out of it cos we all have a future we never feel certain about, and we have a long road before us which diverts from our young lovers. We say goodbye when some of us go to college, others, society. The former begin to go on with his fairy tales again, the latter, saying that they suffer a lot from this problem-filled society, and that what kind of guys/women they did not have an amazing opportunity to meet, all for their own benefits, profits and interests.

Moving along back to the campus, the one we meet in college seldom turns out to be the better half for the rest of our life. We hold hands, we never feel the kind of flushing, no more such a solemn thing so called as true love, any more. We kiss and we go to bed. We are always playing the stupid game. Think about when we reach the age of marriage, the girls would not such thing as first time or this guy beside me is gonna be my best love, deeper than the ocean. No no. And the guys, shattered within, feel tired of talking about pure girls no more.

We, college fellows, begin to face another round of heart-attacked competition when the graduation is drawing near. No money, no honey, this theory, this practical theory is true when applied to many( I would not say there are some who are exceptions).

Then we are thrown into the work force, the job market, such sensation as turmoils. We fall for love again. But by this time, we know, to love does not mean that to like each other, but to make a life together. Girls begin to consider factors such as money, and the older they get, the fewer choices they can enjoy in selecting a husband, some end up marrying a guy they do not love much, others saying that they are considering their family, thus marrying a rich guy.

It’s just not like the 70’s, they know what is timidness, what is the sweetness of flushing, and they hold hands for the first time, this first time means that they are gonna share their life together. All they love, they love their better halves. Not like us, we had loved many more times before we could finally marry. And till the day we marry, till the day we die, we still can not bring ourselves to know the truth, “How many times had he/she loved before he/she fell for me?” “Among all the loves he/she experienced, does he/she love me the most? Being married does not ensure that he/she loves me the most.”

We are not pure any more. And each time we fall out of love, we try to find the next one to undo the pain the previous love has left us. Love is this kind of sickness, for our generation, can we really find the true love, finally?

花季真的成了花祭了

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