Now I realize that many things that had ever appeared in our life actually are sorts of luxury. Yes, they are, especially for me at present. Like laughing loudly without fearing any one’s criticise, passing a day without any worry or depression, talking with a friend about a crazy film or just some gossip, or those pure love. It seems everything joyful stops where I graduated from university last summer. What caused? My bumpy road of job hunting or my frustrated love, yeah, I know, the coincident that they came to me in the same time made me feel weak now. that’s really the situation like “屋漏偏逢连绵雨”(who can give me the translation of this sentence,thanks).

Once I imagined how I would live like after graduation, busy and fulfilling work and sweet love. Now all the imagination are reversed. Everyday, I wonder and consider that happened in the near past. I have been looking for the reasons, make refection and try to do some summary. I know it needs some time, even a long time to put what I’ve learned into practice and win the success. Maybe I am too impatient and hope to have a brand new life right now, so everyday I find today is still like the day past without any progress and the familiar face is still haunting me.

I try my best to be positive and pretend to be happy. I thought I was happy and hopeful to the future. But obviously I am not. Every time go back to my room where I only live with my grief and loneliness, I feel terrible about myself. I try to cheer myself up using many ways, cooking, reading, TV. However all don’t work.