Jesus,i'll be 21 by this Saturday and I still don't know how to make other girls like me...I mean, Ido read a lot about socializing and how to appeal to others,but when it comes to dealing with girls,the real practice,I tend to be real shy.

I'm thinking about holding a party,but not sure whether people I invite will be willing to come. It does seem a bit self-important to hold a party for yourself,doesn't it? Besides,roomates are not really  my best shot.

I've not been paying much attention to them because I didn't feel very attracted to most of them and because I was reading about how to associate with people rather than actually talking to them and because I was also lazy and because I was afraid of getting to close to any of them --that happened before and I went bitchy just to regain control and some personal space. In addition I hated to pretend to care about others.

Now I'm really ALONE  and P is not certain whether he'll be available  at weekends.

 

 

I really hope that somehow I can make this birthday special,for me. I just really need to treat myself more kindly.  Why shouldn't I? Life has been so full.

But I also need to change my attitude,fpr there are things that need to be done.