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Lack of confidence
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Female employees are really rare in the High-tech field. Although it is not bad on the whole to submerge this employment with men, I still feel a bit lonely sometimes. When Lin came on board in our office, I was really happy to have a female company. Her young and a little timid face reminded me of the times I had graduated from the school. There is an underlying rule to give a hard time to the green hand but I decided to ignore it when I remembered what I had gone through at her ages.
Three months later, I realize that I am the person who has been having a really hard time. She is impossible! Even for the simplest thing I've taught her a thousand times, she still couldn't handle it by herself. In fact she just can't cope with anything without clear and step-by-step instruction. She is so incredible unsure. Every time after I taught her about our daily work, form managing a system to fill a claim form, the first thing she would do is not to try by herself but go out to ask anybody she could get to confirm that she was doing it correctly---that is, to ask somebody else to teach her again. Naturally her boss thought I was reluctant to teach her and even came and had a talk with me. You can imagine how awkward and frustrated I was. To be an admin staff, I have multiple responsibilites to handle. Her coming suddenly doubled my workload. Besides, I am often interrupted by her endless and repeated questions, which largely slows down the work that I do. And that even is not the worst. The worst thing is that I began to doubt about the values of my own work. Both as an assistant to different departments, we got the same pay but my workload is as several times as much as hers. Because she couldn't work independently, and also because everybody got tired of teaching her, her daily work was limited to trivial things such as hotel booking. So who is the smarter person?
To be honest, she was not a bad girl. And she appeared to work very hard. Once my boss got me seated in a workshop for a system. After she got the news, she implored to go too. We didn't have the heart to tell her that the only reason we exclude her is that it is too complicated for her to manage. It is an advanced system, and since she still couldn't manage the basic one after three months' hard learning, there is no way for her to manage the advanced one in two short days. But looking at her eager and doglike eyes, I felt uncomfortable as if we were doing something terrible to her. Finally I managed to bring her with me. It was a disaster. Five minutes later, she dozed off in front of the whole workshop. She actually fell asleep under the eyes of foreign expert and other colleagues form different cities. The chairman gave me an incredible look and I wished I could die.
It's a shame to admit that I am almost driven to the edge by a graduate but the truth is, she really set me on nerves. It is no doubt that she is a slow learner but as a graduate from some famous university, she should have grasped the skills taught to her quicker than she does. But why couldn't she work independently? I finally find out the root reason was lack of confidence. She probable is the least confident person I've ever encountered. Sometimes, she did know how to do the next step, but without confirmation from the others, she dared not to make the smallest of moves. Her personality even colored her attitude to the others. She is so eager to please the others. though sadly nobody felt comfortable when she is so notably insecure with herself. We got used to the relationships in office based on mutual respect and understanding. This kind of submission can only bring out the worst part of human being. But even I know the reason; I still don't know how to deal with her. After all, confidence is not something you can offer as a gift. it's something you have to fight for by yourself and you can't obtain it through step-by-step instructions but anything to win confidence is worth of trying. Without confidence, even a nice person could be a tiresome burden to the others.
Three months later, I realize that I am the person who has been having a really hard time. She is impossible! Even for the simplest thing I've taught her a thousand times, she still couldn't handle it by herself. In fact she just can't cope with anything without clear and step-by-step instruction. She is so incredible unsure. Every time after I taught her about our daily work, form managing a system to fill a claim form, the first thing she would do is not to try by herself but go out to ask anybody she could get to confirm that she was doing it correctly---that is, to ask somebody else to teach her again. Naturally her boss thought I was reluctant to teach her and even came and had a talk with me. You can imagine how awkward and frustrated I was. To be an admin staff, I have multiple responsibilites to handle. Her coming suddenly doubled my workload. Besides, I am often interrupted by her endless and repeated questions, which largely slows down the work that I do. And that even is not the worst. The worst thing is that I began to doubt about the values of my own work. Both as an assistant to different departments, we got the same pay but my workload is as several times as much as hers. Because she couldn't work independently, and also because everybody got tired of teaching her, her daily work was limited to trivial things such as hotel booking. So who is the smarter person?
To be honest, she was not a bad girl. And she appeared to work very hard. Once my boss got me seated in a workshop for a system. After she got the news, she implored to go too. We didn't have the heart to tell her that the only reason we exclude her is that it is too complicated for her to manage. It is an advanced system, and since she still couldn't manage the basic one after three months' hard learning, there is no way for her to manage the advanced one in two short days. But looking at her eager and doglike eyes, I felt uncomfortable as if we were doing something terrible to her. Finally I managed to bring her with me. It was a disaster. Five minutes later, she dozed off in front of the whole workshop. She actually fell asleep under the eyes of foreign expert and other colleagues form different cities. The chairman gave me an incredible look and I wished I could die.
It's a shame to admit that I am almost driven to the edge by a graduate but the truth is, she really set me on nerves. It is no doubt that she is a slow learner but as a graduate from some famous university, she should have grasped the skills taught to her quicker than she does. But why couldn't she work independently? I finally find out the root reason was lack of confidence. She probable is the least confident person I've ever encountered. Sometimes, she did know how to do the next step, but without confirmation from the others, she dared not to make the smallest of moves. Her personality even colored her attitude to the others. She is so eager to please the others. though sadly nobody felt comfortable when she is so notably insecure with herself. We got used to the relationships in office based on mutual respect and understanding. This kind of submission can only bring out the worst part of human being. But even I know the reason; I still don't know how to deal with her. After all, confidence is not something you can offer as a gift. it's something you have to fight for by yourself and you can't obtain it through step-by-step instructions but anything to win confidence is worth of trying. Without confidence, even a nice person could be a tiresome burden to the others.
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Post comment Comment (8 replies)
- Reply amelia537617
- Your new colleague just lack of working experience, and she expecting to make her job perfect, so, maybe more encouragement to her when she did a well job and more patience to her when her doesn't fullfill the job in the good way if you really expected to do something good to her. I saw myself from the girl you mentioned.
And from your article, I would like to say it is so lucky to meet you to this girl.
- Reply Sophia_kk
- I saw myself too in your article such as I graduated from school.But I am not lucky as this girl meeting a good boss and co-worker.I almost learnt all work experiences by myself.And now I just a junior in the office that there being no chance for me to improve myself.
I am facing my career bottleneck...
- Reply linda_guo
- cool down, my friend. i know you are a strong and independent woman, preferring to finish work by hard working, but there is another kind of person who is always waiting for others' help, and your new colleague is the typical.
so if you think it is meaningful to teach her something, be more patient; but if you have lost faith in her, just let it be. everyone has to pay the price for her/his growth.
- Reply bluephoebe
- amelia537617: Your new colleague just lack of working experience, and she expecting to make her job perfect, so, maybe more encouragement to her when she did a wellI think it is a stage everyone will go through: self doubts, struggle and try to find a way out. someone succeed quickly, someone remained there more time, someone just gave up and stuck there.
- Reply bluephoebe
- Sophia_kk: I saw myself too in your article such as I graduated from school.But I am not lucky as this girl meeting a good boss and co-worker.I almost learnt allBe patient. fate will jump at you at the most unexpected moment. all you have to do is wait and prepare.
- Reply bluephoebe
- linda_guo: cool down, my friend. i know you are a strong and independent woman, preferring to finish work by hard working, but there is another kind of person whto be honest, i gave up. my patience is not as strong as i expected. and i am not proud about it, but after reading your comments, i felt better now. thanks.
- Reply Sophia_kk
- bluephoebe: Be patient. fate will jump at you at the most unexpected moment. all you have to do is wait and prepare.Yes~I belive fate.
To improve myself ability firstly
- Reply amelia537617
- bluephoebe: I think it is a stage everyone will go through: self doubts, struggle and try to find a way out. someone succeed quickly, someone remained there moreYes, I do agree with you. And I can feel your new colleague isn't a fast learner though she did a good job in the university.
Just as Linda_guo's say so, if you have lost faith in her, just let it be. It is no neccessery to put too much attention to a girl who isn't with a good attitude in her career.
