Living like a ghost, I am not sure that I even exist. I touch part of my body, trying to find the proof that I am still alive. But they are as cold as the dead, I am scared.

Time has lost all meanings. There is no beginning and no end, and the days and nights flow into one seamless rhythm. The past is a blur; the present is nothing but a cold hollow echo, and the future retires itself into a foreign, faraway place. Nothing is matter.

Every morning, I enter into the office. People around me are all engaged in their own business. No body cares to stop and say Hi. I fulfill my task automatically without real understanding what I am doing for. I am just trapped, like brainless insects. Day after day, I spend hours and hours punching my keyboard incessantly, grabbing a bite if I have time, and drinking coffee now and then.

After work, I come back to my empty house. I never perform my chores. No interesting and no mood. Why bother if no body would ever pay a visit? It’s just a place where I sleep, that’s all, no more no less. The trunk, which I brought there a few months ago when I moved in, still remains unpacked.  It would save a lot of troubles this way in case one day I could stand no longer and run away again. I don’t remember quite clearly how I spend those nights. I have no friends, no family, no one to hang around. Surfing the net most of time, I suppose. Order the food and shop on the net. That’s one of the advantages in modern society. No need to social with people if you don’t want to. Second-hand communications can solve all the problems. My voice must be crack for lack of use.

I never liked being alone. But I also feel uncomfortable around with people. I just don’t fit in. So I gave up long time ago. “Dying of a broken heart” is a phrase people usually used. But I think in my case, I am dying of an empty heart.