Part of my job is dealing with the data, simple and passionless.  All I have to do is modify them to acceptable standard, feed them into one of our computer systems, keep track and drag reports if necessary. I kind of like this part. Data is always neat, never messy like human beings are.

Today I dealt with those data, putting my mind in neutral gear and simply letting my fingers go through the motions. Time past fast, when I finished ISP uploading it was already 3:00 PM. I still have some time to do IPB update, but every fiber of my nerves screamed in protest. With a sign, I gave it up. It was Friday, I deserved some rest. Besides, since it hadn’t caused any trouble by a whole year's neglect, I guess another delay won't hurt much.

Putting off an unpleasant chore wouldn’t make it any less unpleasant. Deep inside, I knew it. Although I am still not quite clear about this whole IPB thing, I believe if I focused, I could clear up this mess within two, three at most days. Yes I can, but doesn’t mean I want to---like someone dares you to eat dirt.

It’s just another assignment delegated by Dear Miss J.  Of all the things, I admire her galls. About a year ago, she was hired to replace KK, who was going to transfer to another department. As a newly graduate, it might be too much for her to take all KK’s responsibilities. Therefore her considerate boss, Mr. Z, asked me to share some loads. “It is just a temporary arrangement, once she got on the track, you could hand them back to her.” said Mr. Z with his very famous Z’s smile. What could I possibly say? I agreed and a year’s later I finally realized that this temporary arrangement has already turned into a permanent decision. I don’t care much about it. I got used to the fact that everyone assumed that I could always take more because I can accomplish much without every seeming to hurry. Not that I was good, it’s just not my habit to make fuss. Dear Miss J, on the contrary, has a way of acting busy all the time without anything to be done.

Sometimes I thought that was the one thing life seemed determined to teach me: that there is no absolutely fairness in this unfair world. Every one has his own survival rule. You can either take responsibilities, make things done, or you can put on a good show in front of the authority, kiss the Big Men’ ass and make them to take you under their protective wings. Neither am I a good actor nor ass kisser. Besides I prefer to take responsibilities. That’s my choice, perhaps I should not complain much about it.

However everything has a line. Dear Miss J is not satisfied with the fact that I already took half part of work which was supposed to be hers. Instead, she is indignant with the fact that she actually still has things to do. Therefore, one by one, one assignment after another, she delegated her job to the others. And here comes this IPB thing. I would not be so angry if she handed it to me in a clear order, but no, with a year’s neglect, a tiny problem has already become a big headache. And just like that, she threw it to me, without the slightest gratitude or apologizes.

Perhaps I should not let it coming at me like this. Despite all these ill feelings, there is also a certain perverse comfort in knowing that I could rely on no one but myself. If I expect nothing of other people, I would not be disappointed by any failure on their part to live up to my expectations.

Accept it or leave it. How simple things are when it come down to a matter of survival.