Helpless shy

Here I felt reluctant to use the word introvert, therefore I took something minor. Perhaps there should be a law against such kind of character. Come on, really. I mean haven’t I been punished enough just for being too shy? It’s like to serve a life-long sentence of being left behind, slighted and deprived. How many chances slipped through my fingers because I was too damn shy to move forward one tiny step? How many times I have been used ruthlessly and dumped afterward because I am too timid to voice my opinion loudly? And how many times I took the blame for something actually not my fault just because I am too clumsy-tongued to defend myself? So why not make it legally? If it is a crime to be shy, perhaps the dread to break a law might force me to do some change.

For years, I have grown accustomed to being invisible. I keep telling myself it is easier this way. I don’t need to strike up a conversation or try to impress those VIP at every social activity----I could simply melt into the background as I want. Of course that has a price to pay. Usually I could convince myself it’s the way it is, I know what I want and I live my own way, but occasionally there is a nagging thought: “Is it all I can get from the life? After all the efforts I made, do I deserve a bit better?’ I really don’t know.

In a company, there is a potential rule: “Words spoke louder than Action”---watch out—it’s not the otherwise we were brought up to believe. A convincing speaker always has an upper hand over a silent working beaver. Don’t blame your boss for unfair or short-sighted, put yourself into his/her shoes: whom would you like to promote? The one who always hide behind computer screen, bury his head so deeply in the files you almost couldn’t remember his face, or the one who always be around, jump at every call you make and grasp every chance to talk to you?  So the option is really simple: Either destroy yourself, built a new person from the ashes, a person who never let shyness get in way, a person who could be both bold and aggressive, either in work or in life, or you simply stop complaining and find a strength to endure, to accept what couldn’t be changed, and simply hunker down and wait it out.

Everything comes back to score one: it’s all about balance. Make choice, bear consequence, and move on with your own life. Simple, isn’t it?