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Wandering Thoughts
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12 emails, 3 reports, 2 claims, and many other matters to handle, matters time-consuming but too small to be worth mentioning, like hotel booking, car renting, claims checking on and on, that is what I have done for today, things I kept dealing with from the minute I walked into the office at 8:30 o’clock in the morning until now. An annual workshop will be held in Chengdu, and loads of arrangements need to be settled. The fact that this workshop happens to be held at the same time when Western China International Economic & Trade Fair is opening makes it worse . Even task like hotel booking has developed aggravating complications.
Now I still have a report to run, a slides to check, a speech to prepare, a project to start---but I found it difficult to concentrate. “Not response Error” occurred again to a crap system which I need to run a report from, giving me a perfect excuse to relax a bit. Please don’t get me wrong, for most of time I love my job, love what I am doing, but there’s always a time I could hear a doubtful voice coming from inside: “Is this all? Is this all you could get?” I am not an aggressive person, never a career-driven type but when some of my friends got promoted, when some worked their way up the corporate ladder as higher as CEO, when some started running their own business, I couldn’t help but questioning myself: “ Am I too content with where I am?”
I’ve been working as an assistant for years. I’m good at what I am doing, but that’s all. By many standards our society has provided, I am not a success, far from it. I know what’s my problem is, I am simply not up to par. I am neither talent nor ambitious enough to go any further. I have been surrounded by beautiful, charming people, but unfortunately none of their magic self-assurances rubs off on me. Social function, the golden path leading to success, has still been an exercise in endurance for me.
Perhaps I should not let my mind wondering along this direction. Everyone has his own destiny. I should cherish what I have owned and find a way to make peace with myself. I remembered yesterday someone left a comment at my blog says that she envies me. A person, even as ordinary as I am, still has something shining---perhaps that’s really enough.
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- Reply snowflying
- no,no ,no, to be frank, i can't agree with you ,my dear. though we are females,though we have our good family ,good income, good kids,good houses,good husbands, but a woman also a society member too. we have our work too, we have our job ability too. moreover you have so young , as my counting, we have 3 years old gap, are we old? are we so old that we must satisfy with our having now? i don't disagree to keep a kind temper and a peaceful mind, but i think you should try except you havnn't such a kind of work ability. from your blogs here, i think you are a power ability woman , at least in some aspect, you should be better in your work field. from your blogs writing ability, i believe this point firmly. why yourself give up ? why you cheat yourself's desire in your inner heart? are you really content your current status?
comparing should be between the same generation person, with a more than 10-15 years old girl younger than us, what a comapring result? the result have its meaning too? except comfort yourself. i wanna comfort you here, but i must say my true words, if i'm one of your friend. you and she locate on an entire different career stage,even life stage,right? maybe till her your age, who knows her wonderful future? but your change and chances becomes less and less, right too?
please don't reply me with some words,such as you have own what you have owned. young is a passional heart, not only a dead lax soul, though covered with a peaceful words.
beg your pardon , what i said maybe you aren't willing to listen.all my say in order to strike your seemingly calm heart and soul. dear
- Reply rich
- it involves two matters: the definition of success; what kind of life we should lead. being promoted or having earned a lot of money is surely a sign of success in many cultures. however, there're more than one criterium, i believe. the key is that we should try to find a place that is truly ours, or what you truly want. the truth is that some people are just not fit for being part of management; some are just unsuitable to be put in a business world. however, they might be a great entomologist or a genius in some other field.
- Reply S_Xlove
- hi...phoebe ,i think you are really a charming person .and you do your work well ,I think your boss is also appreciated to your good working performance .and your have many readers and fans here to support you .you can manage everything well in your family and your work . don't feel lost .A successful woman is not means how higher position she is in and how much power she has ,but means how independent she is ,and how much she can influence others in the good aspect .I think you made it .
- Reply bluephoebe
- rich: it involves two matters: the definition of success; what kind of life we should lead. being promoted or having earned a lot of money is surely a signunfortunately, most of people have attached success to fame and fortune a person could have gained. in their eyes, if i'm not a loser, i am so close to. the voice i've heard is not coming from the desire of my heart, but more likely from the pressures of the other's opinions---if it's up to me, i would probably say i'm perfectly happy with who i am, however, i am not strong enough to ignore what the others might see me---that's the problem. honestly, after reading snowflying's comments, once again i strongly felt the almost suffocating heat of pressures. and i know she is not the only one who has this opinion---she is just outspoken her mind, for that, i'm grateful for her honest. though i'm lost words to reply. all in all, now i'm coming to a turning point of life, and i just wish i could be honest with myself and make the right choice. thanks, my friend, for your understanding and generosity.
- Reply bluephoebe
- snowflying: no,no ,no, to be frank, i can't agree with you ,my dear. though we are females,though we have our good family ,good income, good kids,good houses,goodthank you for your honesty. i'm grateful and i'll think about what you said.
- Reply snowflying
- bluephoebe: thank you for your honesty. i'm grateful and i'll think about what you said.no,no,no,dear,you have your own answer alreaday. i have saw what your heart wanna say to me. only wish you smooth and satisfy in your career path. good luck!
- Reply bluephoebe
- S_Xlove: hi...phoebe ,i think you are really a charming person .and you do your work well ,I think your boss is also appreciated to your good working performanmy dear friend, your words does cheer me up a bit. you are right about my boss, he is satisfied with my work. but assistant is just an assistant. it would be fine if you are 20's, , but it's almost a shame to be still an assistant when you are over 30--- no matter how great you are. funny, isn't it? we have so many different kinds of people, however, the standard our society has used to measure people is pitifully limited.
- Reply bluephoebe
- snowflying: no,no,no,dear,you have your own answer alreaday. i have saw what your heart wanna say to me. only wish you smooth and satisfy in your career path. goosometimes, just listening to your heart is not enough, isn't it ?we have so many other things to consider, thanks, really because you care.
- Reply snowflying
- bluephoebe: sometimes, just listening to your heart is not enough, isn't it ?we have so many other things to consider, thanks, really because you care.no ,no,no dear, because i'm your friend. my kindness not to anyone too. and my true even some angry words not to any one too. anyway, i always feel you have your ability, but i don't know why yourself never admit. just following yourself's heart to live, ok?
- Reply Haiena
- Slow down pretty sister. There are millions of ordinary employess, thousands of middle management people and only a handful of executives and CEOs. A lot depends on where you are, the people around you and the time has to be right. You are earning your salary by effective work. Being a CEO does will not make you happier and to be a good CEO, you will have to sacrifice a lot and those positions are vulnerable. Once you lost your high position, you would be very sad in a lower position. Do you really want to be at the top of the corporate ladder? It is worth it? Be happy where you are if you can.
- Reply bluephoebe
- Haiena: Slow down pretty sister. There are millions of ordinary employess, thousands of middle management people and only a handful of executives and CEOs. Ahonestly, i never want to be a CEO, or a GM, or a PM, or any M--- i can't imagine i am the one in charge, that would be a disaster. i lack every quality that makes a authority. but i do need to give a serious thought about my career, for years, i tried to avoid it. but that's something you can't avoid it forever.
- Reply snowflying
- sorry for yesterday's sharp words really, that's not my words style in fact. .but all words in order to clear your current status. 为了更清楚，用汉语吧。你现在好像多年前的我，曾经我那么清高吧清纯吧，视金钱如粪士吧，只知埋头拉车，不会抬头看路，甚至现在还固执地认为我不是那块材料。喜欢读书，喜欢诗情画意的文章，从来不认为我会做管理。你喜欢写作，喜欢英语，喜欢读书，虽然我不知你公司业务详情，但我职业角度，你应该到了转弯处。
你的优势：1、现在助手的岗位或位置；2、多年经验；3、善于沟通表达；4、敬业（我想你应该是）；你的劣势：1、没有晋升意愿或不强烈；2、满足于岗位以外的东西，或其他所得替代了职业满足；3、对自己工作能力需再评价，重要是自评价。
我的安慰话有一火车，我的评论基本上很动听哟，呵呵。但在你这篇文章里我不想说，因为作为同龄人，真的希望我的弯路你少走。问题恐怕不是别人说不说或别人怎么说说什么，只要自己快乐，这是唯一的目标。你快乐吗？我指的工作。除好老公，好孩子，房子车子票子外，你真的一点不在意“位子”吗？工作不努力？不胜任？除了睡眠，除了老少，一生中多少黄金时光在岗位上渡过？工作为什么？我不看重钱，但我必须快乐。正常的职业晋升与权威领导不能等同，不刻意苛求，但应该考虑，又不是让你做CEO什么的。我想多少你在意你的工作，否则这篇文章我们根本不会看到在这。
回不回答并不重要，因为我不仅仅是在写评论。真希望你职涯顺利。
- Reply bluephoebe
- snowflying: sorry for yesterday's sharp words really that's not my words style in fact. .but all words in order to clear your current status. 为了更清楚，用汉语吧my dear friend, please don't get me wrong when i said i don't know how to reply your comments. i was not offended by your words, on the contrary, i was deeply moved. i know you won't say so if you don't see me as a friend.
You see a clear picture of me, except one thing: i do want to get promoted. who doesn't? the question is it's not that simple. i work at a technique company. we provide support, and manhour is our sales. if you have some technique background, you would have a clear career path: either work hard to be an expert, or work yourself up into the management. IF you have technique background----i don't. so you see, it's not that i don't want to get promoted, or my boss don't want to give me a chance. it's just, from the begining, this path is blocked. there is only one way left: leave, leave the unit, or leave the company. in fact, about a month ago, i already render my transfer request, and for some reason, it's still pending. i either get this chance or not. but what's really bothering me is "is this really i want?"
you see, i do care for my job. i love everything about it except the fact that after years i'm still at entry level. but a job is not simply about which level you could climb up. it's also about what you are doing, who you are working with. i like working with engineers, i like working at this unit, everything is clear and simply: you make things done, your boss is happy, everyone is satisfied, no complicated relationship, no pretence-doing. i like this way. and i know if i do get that chance, everything might be different.
- Reply love_is_circle
- So glad to see lots of friends comforting you and caring about your career planning. I think I have the same problem and very contradictory sometimes, too, which make me unhappy and depressed. Once considered to change a job and environment, while I know myself, I can't change my character, so no better way to satisfy me. Anyway, in my mind, you're a kind and successful woman already.
- Reply bluephoebe
- love_is_circle: So glad to see lots of friends comforting you and caring about your career planning. I think I have the same problem and very contradictory sometimes,i know exactly how you feel. we can't change our characters like change our haircut. it's really frustrating, isn't it? when i said i don't like to be any kind of M, i does mean it. i hate to take responsible for the others. i like simple way of life and work, but the problem is we have so many other things to consider, not just our likes or dislikes.
- Reply Jessico
- Phoebe, if you really want promotion and still couldn't find the opportunity in current company, I suggest you couldn't hunt for another one to realize your goal. You have already got the capability and working experience. Good luck
- Reply bluephoebe
- Jessico: Phoebe, if you really want promotion and still couldn't find the opportunity in current company, I suggest you couldn't hunt for another one to realizthanks, the question is do i want it that much?
- Reply love_is_circle
- bluephoebe: i know exactly how you feel. we can't change our characters like change our haircut. it's really frustrating, isn't it? when i said i don't like to beYes, and what will you do next? try your best to have a promotion or job-hopping?
- Reply bluephoebe
- love_is_circle: Yes, and what will you do next? try your best to have a promotion or job-hopping?haven't figured it out yet
- Reply Kevin_z
- Sometimes it's not what we want that drive us move forward but the push from society. It's not only a matter of personal ambition or self-fulfillment needs but also a matter of meeting the expectation of society. If all the people are marching ahead, we would seem strange if we lag behind too much. We may feel satisfied with our life but the pressure from other people's strange looks will annoy us more or less. So if we don't want to be agressive, we should at least act normal to avoid the impression of being too passive. I used a lot of "we" but actually it's not my attitude towards life.
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