Today, three more colleagues left the company. Under the current situation, it came as no surprise. Compared to the first round of reduction, their leaving was peaceful and didn’t stir up anything more active than a few of parting words. All of them looked calm on their way to picking up their last paycheck and layoff package. I knew they had already prepared themselves well for this and some even had waited for this day, but still, I felt uncomfortable to say goodbye. So I just indulged myself in pile-up work on the desk and didn’t say anything.

In fact, I am also on the list. But considering the fact that now in Chengdu I am the only one left in this post, and no matter how worse the situation might become, things still need to be done, the company decided to re-hire me as one of outsourcing staffs. For me, that really is the best arrangement. It means that I could have both---my job and a layoff pay. What else could I expect? When my boss told me this news, I almost couldn’t believe my good luck. However, now, when I laid my eyes on the word “Non-employee” in my outlook information, I was seized by tangled emotions: Sad? Confusing? Or fear? I really didn’t know.

I have stayed at this company for almost ten years. It might not be the best job for me, but it always makes me feel comfortable. I am one of those who might be good at what they are doing, but awkward at representing themselves. I never know how to show off----not the slightest clue. Since most of what I am doing is behind-scenes, it’s unavoidably for me to slide unnoticeably into the background. However, in this company, as long I make things down, I could feel respected and recognized. I really appreciated my boss’s efforts to keep me here, but I could shake off my worries when thinking about the future. Do I still have the zest and courage to start from zero somewhere? Perhaps I really should put more faith on myself.

Good luck, to everyone.