When things transpire that are out of your control, you would be surprised by how easily fall into the cycle of negative thoughts. If I am not careful enough now, I would become the victim of the sudden outbreaks of all my negative thoughts.

There is no escaping no matter how hard I’ve tried. With or without my efforts, the moon and the wind would go on, rising and falling. We are still entering another economic crisis and the company is still stepping down. It makes no difference whether I work hard, or learn hard, or just accept as things come. It’s still highly unlikely that I could survive from another round of layoff. And at my age, a woman who has been working at the same company for so many years at the same position, a woman who is shy and always awkward in social situations, a woman who has nothing to recommend herself except perhaps not bad English level and office skills, and worse,  a woman who has a family to take care of and has to put balance between job and family to the first priority, I stand almost no chance in present job market. There is no escaping. And sometimes the only words in my head are the ones ask why I am still trying when it would make no difference. It is easier to give up than keep trying. After all being a stay-at-home mum is not the end of the world. However, it isn’t simply that I have failed as an English major, it isn’t simply that I have stayed as where I am for so many years. It is rather than I passed through life and couldn’t even make a living in the end. So you see, how easy it could be.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the freedom to choose his attitude in any given set of circumstances. So all you need to do is to stop self-pity and try to think positively. Negative think weighs you down and breaks you, while positive thinking makes you stronger and gives you a way with people. Even you fail, at least you fail without any regrets.