My dearest dear:

This homework should be a letter that you write to me, however, I understand that you can’t do it right now. It’s one of these days where you feel everything is going wrong, and everything is going to be out of control. You just can’t think about the future.

Last day, when your mind came across about the word “future’, before you even noticed, tears had already been all over your face. You had to pull over and then you cried like a baby. After that, you felt so guilty, so shamed about it. You felt you should be strong, be tough enough to face all these messes. But you don’t need to. Dear, cut yourself some slacks. It’s terrible always to bottle up your emotions. I’m glad that you let it off steam even in an embarrassing way.

Sorry I can’t tell you where I am now. I can’t tell you all the details that you are desperate to know. You see, the future connects with the present in every possible way. I am literary shaped by you, born out of what you are doing in the present. If I tell you something that I really should not, it might change everything. But the charm of life is its unknown, isn’t it?

Nevertheless, there are things I do want to tell you.

First of the first, take it easy, girl. You are really stressed out. You always say: “Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. However, all your attention seems to focus on the latter only. You are such an insecure freak. We both are. Just remember, your imaginations are ten times worse than the reality. So, don’t trouble you any more with self-inflicted worries.

As for marriage, I know you have some doubts right now. Okay, it’s a moderate phrase and you are actually eating alive with doubts. Relax, he is still the man we fall in love with. He is just not quite himself now. He has his issue, and he needs to figure it out all by himself. You can only give him support, comfort him if you feel like to. But, it is NOT your responsibility. Don’t feel guilt if you fail to comfort him. And if you don’t want to repeat words you’ve already said thousand of times, then don’t say it.

Just remember, Pleasure is energy reciprocated. What you put out comes back. If you want to cheer him up, cheer yourself up first and all you need is probably just to show him your smiles.

As for our son, I know there is another thing that weighed heavily on your mind now. You don’t know if you should enroll him in the 5-6 class of that expensive private school, or perhaps just wait for another year and leave everything to the fate. I can’t tell you which one the right decision is. But you should remember that in each choice, there is always a way to Rome. Our boy might not be one of those top students, but he has his own potentials. You need to help him to find them.

And your job is the least thing you should worry about now. To be layoff or not, it’s not your call. Do your best and accept whatever it comes. Trust yourself, you can stand on your feet, with or without it.

Last but not the least, take care. There is still a long way to go. I know, the present sulks, the present is tough. But you have the future. In fact, looking back, I feel appreciate about “the present”. I’ve learned a lot, and I’ve become a better Me. Even in the darkest moments, there is the light. And, laughter is the best form of prayer.

See you, in ten years.

Yours forever.