Life’s only misfortune is being incompetent. Working hard and thinking hard, that’s your own savior. 

It’s a shame. You know, I don’t get to spend as much time being productive as I should do. For the last few days, I’d just been a couch potato, indulging myself in junk novels and movies---weak, light-headed and a running stomach is not an excuse. 

I know I am not a strong-willed person as I’m always trying to pretend to be. Anytime I go astray and I try to get back to pick it up where I left off, I can hear a nagging inner voice, saying: “What’s the point of trying? How many times have you left?” Hopefully, it is not too loud and I’m not distracting, at least not this time, from what the main thing is---that is just trying to be a better person. So I am just so ashamed of quitting, you know, not only EMF, writing and reading, but regular exercise, my three daily must.

I just try to use my time in the right way to be. You know like I say, hone my skills in English, sponge out courage and knowledge from reading, work out my stiff body as best as I could, whatever the case may be. You know, be my own savoir. You know, with every cell screaming in my body, to win this battle.