The past is a ghost, insubstantial, unaffecting. No matter how hard you’ve tried to hold on to, it slips through your fingers like the water. It’s time to do the grown-up thing, let it go. After all only the present has weight.

I finally accept the fact and start to enjoy my retirement.

It is a beautifully sunny day. I could spend a whole day at home, feeling trapped and mourning for my loss. Or I could simple go outside and have fun.

A picture flashed across my mind. It’s a picture of gingko trees, gleamed loudly under the sunshine. Alone with that picture, a place popped into my mind. I read an article introducing the places where you can enjoy the beauty of gingko trees, and this place is just an hour’s drive from home.

I couldn’t focus on my reading because my body couldn’t contain my roaming spirit any longer, which giggles: Let’s go! Explore the world. Have Fun.

It took me only a minute pondering about this idea and then I’d hit the road.

I seldom enjoyed driving, but today is an exception. When I was driving, I felt like I was flying in the blooming sky and the road, with such a light traffic, stretches out into the unknown.

When I arrived, I found everything so familiar. I visited this place before. A lost memory emerged and came into a sharper focus. About two years ago, I brought my son to this place for a private school’s entrance exam.

I remembered now that afternoon, how I rushed out of my office, picked up my son from school, fought the rush hour’s traffic jam and finally arrived there. I was exhausted and worried about the future. I barely had any time or energy to take a good look at this place.

Now everything seems to be different. The gingko trees lined up on the street, leaves dancing in the wind. The sunshine illuminated every aspect of this place. It was so long since I had seen this world that I felt a surge of joy, as though it weren’t just a day that ended a chapter of my life. It was like a fresh beginning.

Retirement, it is not so bad. Forget about my cancer, forget about the fact that my retirement income can only cover one third of my hospital bills. There will be a way. Right now, all I need is to live and enjoy this moment.