Havent write a diary for days. couse i thought if i didnt write this down then the bad days would move fast. However good things never happen to me as usual. I dont feel unfair, couse it's pretty fair. 

At least, i have learned one thing that is very important "what the other one said is just for you to hear". And to be more clear is what thay said is not what they thought. They will just use a much more acceptable way to express their true thought. And the true thought is always the thing that you can not accept. I used to believe people are born nice.  There is nothing conect.

And during the weekend i realised one thing. I always relying on some firends. I do many things with them. But i know is really a bad habit ,even if i do not know why? Maybe i make them feel there is no distance between us.  or they do the things just for a responsibility.

But is it just a responsibility? i hate responsibility. And dont want to be a problem for anyone. But unfortunately, i did this. i am so sorry.

when i studied in my high school, i clearly remembered that there was a professor who said that "you have to be self-support". oops, many days later it's still a aim for me.  Dont know when is it gonna realise.

how pity i am!  there are many many words i want to write here, but dont know where to start it, then stop here, maybe sometimes later i will continue ...