actually it's a topic i always feel glad to elaborate on~~ i used to consider myself as an "expert" in english,taking for granted the compliments and admiration of others ~but i kind of get lost in such illusions where your merits are infinitely magnified while your weakness becomes invisible.for the past few months i have reflected on myself a lot."am i really that good?"i had been  praised to the level that i don't  deserve at all.i stumble and stammer when i'm speaking english sometimes .i can't even write a complete and cohensive article in english.when people consulted me on some easy translation,i just became speechless~~when those added halos are taken away,when i look at myself in a mirrior rather than magnifying glass, there's nothing left but a self-inflated,ignorant,pompous fool~~i feel humbled by the mistakes i have made.maybe it's time for me to start over~~~

       i like englsih,yes there's no arguing with that.but unfortunately i took it as an excuse for failing to do many other things.back in highschool i did poorly in physics and chemistry.but i saw it not as failure but as uniqueness."i've already mapped out my future ,it has nothing to do with physics or chemistry,why should i work hard for something unnecessry or annoying" in retrospect i feel sorry about those astringent and silly ideas.i'm so tunnel-visioned that i never broaden my horizon beyond english.all my knowledge is confined within english ~i'm ill-informed of what is happening around the world.i don't know who's my favourite writer for i seldom read books except for some english magzines.i spent all my time polishing my  pronunciation and memorizing some big daunting words or expressions,foolishly hoping people will be intimidated or shocked by  my english.but language is never something to be showed off,it is a tool to brige different thoughts and opinions.i really feel ashamed of my crude understanding of english.i mean it.

    the other day i watched an interview of the famous anchorman Ruichenggang.i was totally brainstormed by what he said."english (language)is nothing but a vehicle carrying information.english is a global language.there should be no unilateral standard to judge which accent is the best one.be a person of content ,people will respect you for that "yes exactly.i have nothing to feel superior about.beautiful language without deep thoughts inside is just like a seemingly flourishing tree with a hollow trunk.it will easily fall down under a gust of wind.

     to be continued....