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missing my grandfather.....that feeling invading me......
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I'm in my grandmother's home in YanQing now. Actually, YanQing is my birthplace, but I came to BJ with my mom and dad when i was three.
My grandpa passed away in Mar.this year. That day I was in my dorm anf after i heard this news, I went back to YanQing by 919. The image of that day still in my heart. I couldn't bear it during a long period of time. And now, I'm better.
Several days ago, I came here to visit my grandma and also it remind me a feeling of sadness and unsafety. I just recall the memory when my grandpa was here. I know he would buy me a lot of snacks if he was still here.
Since then, i have a strange habbit that is I feel suffocated after I wake up in the morning. I don't know why, So, I will call my boyfirend to lighten this feeling. Fortunately, it works.
I can't control this feeling and I can't explain it in details.
I just wait. Wait for the feeling disappearing.
Hope my grandpa come to my dream today!
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Post comment Comment (17 replies)
- Reply pudding
- Sad to hear this!
Hope you'll get better soon! Your grandfather also wish you happy and have a wonderlife life!
- Reply swan_amy
- i moved to beijing with my family when i was 11, a few years ago , my grandma passed away，that was a dark time of my life,it was killing me when i called grandma and there was nobody answered, so i know ur feeling, maybe u should do something to keep the connect to ur grandpa, burn joss sticks or something~
- Reply Sophia_kk
- I know your feeling..When my grandma was badly ill in hospital and take over her last days,I almost can not came to see her due to the sadness.There is a huge helpless in my heart that never suffered.And I used to hate myself why not going to see her frequently when she was healthy.But everthing is late..
Cherishing your grandma...It is that what you can do in memory of your grandpa..
- Reply pch
- Don't to be so heart-struck.Doing your best to do everything to make your grandpa relieved.That is all.
- Reply monkeylinstar
- pudding: Sad to hear this!i'm better now. But the shadow still exist till now. Anyway, we cannot change it, so I learn to accept. Thank u for your care.Hope you'll get better soon! Your grandfather also wish you happy and have a wonderlife life!
- Reply monkeylinstar
- swan_amy: i moved to beijing with my family when i was 11, a few years ago , my grandma passed away，that was a dark time of my life,it was killing me when i callone of my friends told me that it's not a bad thing that your grandma or grandpa passed away when you were very young. But I'm 20,i'm no longer young. I know the real feeling.
This is the first time I told this misfortune in my blog. I dare not write it in Chinese.
- Reply monkeylinstar
- Sophia_kk: I know your feeling..When my grandma was badly ill in hospital and take over her last days,I almost can not came to see her due to the sadness.There iI didn't came to the hospital to see him when he was near to death. and I know something bad behide his death. I hate that. thank u for your story....
- Reply monkeylinstar
- pch: Don't to be so heart-struck.Doing your best to do everything to make your grandpa relieved.That is all.I'm happy now and I know my grandfather is blessing me.
- Reply swan_amy
- monkeylinstar: one of my friends told me that it's not a bad thing that your grandma or grandpa passed away when you were very young. But I'm 20,i'm no longer young.yes, my grandma died when i was about 17, it was so true that i can't face , one day i got into a church , i am not a christain but i'd like to believe my grandma has gone to heaven, because if so, she can bless me and see me again oneday, it's make me feel better
- Reply monkeylinstar
- swan_amy: yes, my grandma died when i was about 17, it was so true that i can't face , one day i got into a church , i am not a christain but i'd like to believhas your grandma ever come to your dream? i dreamed of my grandpa for twice and he is happy and he is not ill any more.
- Reply monkeylinstar
- wuyong: Time can change everything, so, You must be strong!yes, i know i must be strong. I accept all the things, though i thought i couldn't bear it at that time.
Best wishes!
- Reply swan_amy
- monkeylinstar: has your grandma ever come to your dream? i dreamed of my grandpa for twice and he is happy and he is not ill any more.i don't know , i can't remember dreams, maybe
- Reply Bianca
- There're always a lot of things which are unpredictable,we should be strong enough to face them,so cheer up!
- Reply god
- Sorry to hear that...nobody can live forever....
You should cherish and take care of your grandma, lossing your grandfa,i think ,she may be lonely .
- Reply monkeylinstar
- Bianca: There're always a lot of things which are unpredictable,we should be strong enough to face them,so cheer up!yes,this is the first time that i met this kind of difficulty.
- Reply monkeylinstar
- god: Sorry to hear that...nobody can live forever....yes, at the first time, she cried for it every day. but now, she becomes strong and she still misses my grandpa.
You should cherish and take care of your grandma, lossing your grandfa,i think ,she may be lonely .
