Tuesday, March 15, 2011                                           Being with Kids                                                 windy

The first time to be with kids was overall fine but most of the time out of tune…

When Cindy told me that there may be a chance to get a part-time job at EF, “babysitting” kids, I made the deal with no doubts. But actually, I do not think myself get along well with kids. For I am on my own for long, I care much about myself than others. And to be honest, I am taken care of by others mostly. So I am really worried about how I am going to act before kids to make them happy, with little knowledge of what kids like… However, last Sunday was ok when I took my role as a Teaching Assistant in Demostration Class.

What I found it interesting was that kids are really cute. What I disliked after that day was that I still cannot get along with strangers, in particular, the customers coming to the Demo class that day.

Though primirally I feel akward doing my job, which mainly because that I did not catch up the pace with Tom, the lecturer, whom I need to interact and cooperate with to present the class together, I feel happy and released seeing children playing and laughing.

While I talked to those parents, I do not think they like me either… so I made less conversation with them. Surely, I am not qualified of serving. Usually when I get blocked, I am at first shocked by what they did to me, then angry with who defies me, swearing them in silence. But after that confliction, when I calm down, I feel ashamed of myself not capable of being with people, which is basic for living in society. If I am outgoing, I do not question myself of any “disabilities”; but because of my introvert and isolated characgteristic, I am dispose to think myself weird and stupid. Surely there got to be a solution, while mine is to watch and learn while spending more time with people. At the same time, another trouble is that I often blame myself for not grasping the gists of socialising quickly. So I was in real delimma. I know deeply that these two things between learning and achieving are interelated and sometimes interfered with each other, but I want them both. So that’s my problem. I’ve got to be patient and optimistic though.

Being with kids are still fine. Hopefully, I can make them like me as well. For their parents, currently it is not my case to serve them, so I do not need to worry yet, which is absolutely fit to my intension. As for colleagues, they are all nice people that I can feel their caring. Besides, I’ve got to be active cooperating, otherwise, nothing good for me will be on the line.

This diary seems a bit digress, but I’ve got to say that I love being with kids. I’m gonna do my best to be a qualified TA. I mean it like I always be. I choose what I like.