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Who should take the initiative in a relationship
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Dear all,
Could you tell me who should take the initiative in a relationship? What's your opinion and why ?
My opinion is that I'd rather lose him forever than open my mouth tell him I like him. Although I know my opinion is not right, but for me, I won't change it.
Many thanks in advance!
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Post comment Comment (16 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- You are really a sweet girl, but you are indeed overly conservative.
The world has changed and you have no choice but to adapt. As a matter of fact, nobody cares about who takes the initiative to verbally express love or affection. Your body language, words and action would show as it goes and your partner would get it. Actually, it is so sweet to hear a girl telling her boyfriend that she likes or loves him in a romantic setting. Don't you think so? Before, you start telling me that Chinese culture is conservative, let me tell you that I am talking about modern Chinese culture here.
On the other hand, I do understand your mentality. Girls are supposed to be modest and reserved, so it would be better for a guy to say it first. The only problem is that your boyfriend might misunderstand and believe that you have no interest in him, thereby, unnecessarily forsaking a worthwhile good relationship.
Don't worry about the negligible things in a relationship. Accept your Mr. Right if he is close by. After Suzhou, there would be no boats to take.
- Reply xiaoputao
- you should believe youself, I saw you picture and you are really a beautiful gril, I think no one can refuse a gril whose enthusiastic bright and with a sunny disposition，I had a love announcement to my dream lover, but before I talkd to him, I knew he must refuse me ,he is outstanding but grim, I never regret about it, I just want he know a gril like him ,thats all. After this, whenever he met me at school, he smiled to me everytime. It's enough for me. Therefore, try to tell him , Best wishes!
- Reply freefu55
- If I say, no need to think about these questions. Just the way you are, and live your life as it is.
- Reply samanthe
- Haha, I just want to say it's boy's business to open the mouth to start a relationship, I'm not so conservative as you said.
sunnyv: You are really a sweet girl, but you are indeed overly conservative.
The world has changed and you have no choice but to adapt. As a matter of fact, ...
, I'm a pretty optimistic and lovely girl in the life, haha 
But this is true , if the boy didn't express his feeling to me directly, although I'm into him I won't tell him. Everyone has their personality. It's prove that he isn't my Mr. Right If I lose him.
- Reply samanthe
- Haha, thanks for your comment. I have this mind not as I'm lack of confidence. Actually , I also don't know why, but I can't persuade myself to open the mouth to express my affection, haha, maybe I'm not so into the guy.
xiaoputao: you should believe youself, I saw you picture and you are really a beautiful gril, I think no one can refuse a gril whose enthusiastic bright and wit ...
I agree with your behavior, it's quite normal now. But it's not suitable for me, haha.
Anyway, thanks
- Reply sunnyv
- You can give up somebody you like so easily? Seems you are not the attached or faithful type of girl. When you are fond of somebody, you would find lots of excuse to keep him beside you and never let him go.
samanthe: Haha, I just want to say it's boy's business to open the mouth to start a relationship, I'm not so conservative as you said.
, I'm a pretty opti ...
Lack of expression is hardly a reason to part. You won't know the true value of a person until you lose him. Think it over dear.
- Reply samanthe
- I must admit that I'm the person who fear to be hurt by others,and lack of security. I won't tell a boy I like him, maybe as I didn't met my Mr.right . I can't agree with you that I'm not the faithful girl, and Could you tell me why you can draw the conclusion like this ? The person I choose in the future, I want to marry with him not just a temporary relationship.
sunnyv: You can give up somebody you like so easily? Seems you are not the attached or faithful type of girl. When you are fond of somebody, you would find lo ...
- Reply sunnyv
- I don't mean you are ''unfaithful'' in relationships. What I meant was that you are prepared to let go of somebody you like just because he has not expressed his affection to you in the first place. It is normal to feel insecure and have fear of hurt in today's complicated world and relationships. In fact, that is a good mentality. My friends told me they feel it is better to be alone because nobody can hurt you. Sometimes we have be soft and make reasonable sacrifices to keep a relationship. It all depends on your own judgement and reasoning. You seem to have a good mentality about relationships and know what you should do, so I believe you would be able to work your way to eternal happiness for yourself. Keep it up dear. Support you all the way.
samanthe: I must admit that I'm the person who fear to be hurt by others,and lack of security. I won't tell a boy I like him, maybe as I didn't met my Mr.right ...
- Reply samanthe
- Haha, thanks for your understanding. Everyone have their own way to achieve the happiness .
sunnyv: I don't mean you are ''unfaithful'' in relationships. What I meant was that you are prepared to let go of somebody you like just because he has not ex ...
You know,if you continue to criticize my behavior I will cry today.
Haha, today is my lunar birthday, happy birthday to myself
- Reply sunnyv
- Don't worry dear. You are one of the sweetest and most friendly girl here.
samanthe: Haha, thanks for your understanding. Everyone have their own way to achieve the happiness .
You know,if you continue to criticize my behavior I will c ...
You have all the qualities needed to get your Mr. Right. Today is the hottest day according to the Lunar Calender and it is your birthday, so that shows that you are a warm person. Happy birthday to our lovely girl Samanthe.
- Reply sunnyv
- Don't worry dear. You are one of the sweetest and most friendly girl here.
samanthe: Haha, thanks for your understanding. Everyone have their own way to achieve the happiness .
You know,if you continue to criticize my behavior I will c ...
You have all the qualities needed to get your Mr. Right. Today is the hottest day according to the Lunar Calender and it is your birthday, so that shows that you are a warm person. Happy birthday to our lovely girl Samanthe.
- Reply samanthe
- Haha, thank you
sunnyv: Don't worry dear. You are one of the sweetest and most friendly girl here.
You have all the qualities needed to get your Mr. Right. Today is the hotte ...
- Reply Teddy126
- Hehe, actually I think there is no point for too much persuasion. Like you said and as you did, you seem like a person with strong inward personality. But if it were me, I would say it out loud. But I will carefully bide my time and pick the suitable timing to express myself. Good to know you by the way. Your English proves good enough for me.
- Reply samanthe
- Anytime and anybody I won't express my affection to him. This is the bottom line for a relationship. Lots of friends can't agree with me, but never mind.
Teddy126: Hehe, actually I think there is no point for too much persuasion. Like you said and as you did, you seem like a person with strong inward personality. ...
Ok, leave this topic alone. It's so nice to talk with you.
- Reply Teddy126
- Surely, friends are friends. Change never comes to a person when he or she can still come to terms with herself. Hehe, you are a night owl too.
samanthe: Anytime and anybody I won't express my affection to him. This is the bottom line for a relationship. Lots of friends can't agree with me, but never mi ...
