For many times, I have found myself not living in a state of a true me but pretend to smile when I really don't want to or to behave myself and keep quiet like a ' mama's girl ' when I really want to say something or do something . Usually I have to mask my feeling and chew it at the bed time . Does everyone also wear a mask like me ? Why can't I behave as what I like ? I'm confused . Sometimes when I talk or act not as they expect they'll question me 'what's wrong with you !?' Why ? Can't I do it like this ? It's really boring and makes me tired to wear a mask all the time. It seems that there is a limit that I should never go beyond even though I can actually.