This is《Watson and Shark》

Though this picture, I see it describes a cool and clear day. There’re a great many British warships stopping in a harbor. On the wavy sea is a small boat floating in which mine men are trying to help a man, he is next to a shark.

All men in the boat, they seem horrified when they see a shark which is opening its large mouth and attempting to attack the man who is naked. This mn looks helpless and who is drowning, his face gets pale and he raise the right arm asking for help to the people in the boat, which beside him.

In the center of the boat, a black man who is shocked by the scaring scene, his left hand holds one end of a long rope, whose other end circled around the drowned man’s arm. Next to him, a long-haired young man is aiming a long spear with sharp hooks at the shark. In front of them, a bald man is shouting and directing the rescue. He grabs other man’s blouse who is bowing down to reach the naked man with another fellow. Being tense mood and expression, the rest of men in the boat are watching these all, some of them are rowing a oar to attach to the poor man, one just give a cold shoulder.

The following account is corrected by teacher.

This picture describes a cool and clear day. There’re a great many British warships stopping in a harbor. On the wavy sea is a small boat floating in which mine men are trying to help a man who is next to a shark.

All men in the boat seem horrified when they see a shark which is opening its large mouth and attempting to attack the naked man. This man looks helpless and is drowning. His face gets pale and he raises the right arm asking for help to the people in the boat, which is beside him.

In the center of the boat is a black man who is shocked by the scaring scene, his left hand holds one end of a long rope, and the other end circled around the drowning man’s arm. Next to him, a long-haired young man is aiming a long spear with sharp hooks at the shark. In front of them, a bald man is shouting and directing the rescue. He grabs other man’s blouse who is bowing down to reach the naked man with another fellow. In tense mood, the rest of men in the boat are watching these all, some of them are rowing a oar to reach the poor man.

Some places I can’t understand why had better use this word instead of the other. And I don’t know how to use commas right.