The will and need

The weakness of the man hide in our deepest place of heart, such as laziness, envy etc. But I must defeat and alarm myself ever time to reach my expected target as an English learner. (About my plan and target I tell about it in next diary.)

We all own weakness of our character, although we are different. What’s the deepest shortage in my mind? Sentimentality. Yeah, I definitely do admit that is my biggest barrier. She do like a witch who easily could take control of my mind, mood, thread by her magic. This magic would spread around all my body if I carelessly relax my vigilance.

Through my efforts, my found a method to deal with it. Expression. I made a new schedule of my life. Keeping talking with member of family, friends, and participate in public party. I will be all right.

Talking about studying (I thought it with Chinese expression). I began (I don’t know whether the tense used right?) to learn how to organize the efforts at same time how to learn more.

During studying English these days, I met a critical problem. I can’t learn more! What’s wrong?

I feel the process of studying English like construct skyscraper of concrete. And I believe I am an engineer, designer, and builder.

As an engineer, I always want to promote my work as fast as possible, ignore the quality problem, focus on my paying.

As a designer, I racked my brain about how to decorate my work, but with shortages of material and experience. Oh! What a mess I made!

As a builder, Oops! I never saw myself as a builder, a dirty, lower, inferior actor in society. However, it’s the most important problem. I haven’t possess the skill of building, and my work haven’t enough basic frame to support all things above it. It is shaking!

In effect, I haven’t good basis in English, I study it based on myself. When I was reading English articles aloud in the morning, I always met some questions about pronunciation, meaning, and method of using. I know little about tense, common expression, clause, non-finite verb…. I mean I know all, but a little. So sometimes I used them right, sometimes I don’t know how to express it correctly!

None of using, I learning nothing just wasting time. It’s a big problem!

How do I use words exactly like pure English, not Chilish?

I had to become a builder, to learn the skill of basic knowledge about foundation, framework. I ain’t any more an engineer and designer.