The other day, I got the news from my wife that Richard, my son, had passed the College English Test-6 (CET-6), with a score surpassing the passing grade by more than 100 points. He seldom tells us this kind of news unless asked to. I don’t know if it can be regarded as a great success or as we often say passing with flying colors. However, considering that English is no longer a required course in the whole school year, that score is very satisfactory.

Just on the night of that day, I decided to chat with him online. When asked about the academic results of last year, he said in their school there was a comprehensive score, which includes all the academic courses and other aspects of school performance. Then he said casually that he was sort of lucky that he took the first place of the class on the list. Needless to say, I was quite happy for him as well as proud of him.

Looking back upon the years he has been through, I have mixed feelings. When he was born, my wife and I had, it seems, the hardest part of our life. She was a common factory worker on three shifts. As a head teacher, I was destined to be busy all the time, having to be at school early for the morning reading and stay in there until school was over. Unlike many other couples, we had little assistance from our older generation. My father worked far away from home and my mother was in constant bad health. As a result, Richard was, so to speak, brought up almost entirely on our own. I was usually the first to send him to and the last to collect him from the nursery, then kindergarten and later on elementary school. On weekends and holidays, we had to deposit him at the neighbor’s, for we didn’t have any relatives to turn to then. He might have the slightest idea of the real situation and just took it for granted, but I always feel sorry when I happen to think of it, as if this is something I owed him during his early years of childhood.

In my memory, Richard was always a good boy, unusually understanding and even a little too mature for his tender age. He was never willful and seldom asked for expensive toys or something to eat. He seemed to know that it was not easy for mom and dad to make a decent living. The only problem with him, if it can be seen as a problem, was that he did things relatively slow. It usually took him more time to finish off a certain task assigned by the teachers. At one time we were very anxious and worried. Much to our relief, everything was ok with him except being a bit slow. Maybe just for that reason, he had a hard time going through the primary school years. We didn’t send him to any after-school classes, as many other parents did. On the contrary, we tried to ease his burden of having to finish so much homework, but all in vain. He was too good to “violate the rules” by the teachers. I remember he was so frightened after being scolded by a teacher for forgetting to wear the red scarf that he shouted in panic in his dream. Primary student as he was, he often stayed late at night, unnecessarily savoring the bitter life of being a student at such an early age.

I don’t think his childhood was a happy one. That may explain why he is still not so talkative and a little bit shy before strangers. There are many reasons, both objective and subjective. On the part of us parents, however, we feel so sad that we missed the precious time to take him to parks or any other places to see the outside world and to play or just be together with other kids.

To our great delight, he seemed to grow more confident than before when he got into junior high. His comprehending and analyzing abilities began to show through. While there were more subjects to learn, he managed better and was able to be among the top fifteen students of the class. He even tried to challenge himself by signing for the 1500 meter race in the school sports meet. Actually, he was far from being strong. However, after exercising every day, he came sixth, which was quite out of our expectation. Ever since then, he took part in long distance running, 3000 meter race in senior high, in all the sports meets and each time he got a medal. After entering senior high, he seemed to fit in even better both socially and academically, always well above the average in exams. In the national college entrance examinations, he got a score that was well above the key university admission grade.

We all have only one childhood. In this sense, kids should be given the time to be kids. Being happy as a kid is the best gift we parents can ever give, for the simple reason that it is irreplaceable. Nothing else really matters. Though sometimes it is just beyond our control, we must create an environment at home where he or she always feels warm and comfortable. Each child is unique and has his own characteristics. We should never force him to grow or compare his weaknesses with other kids’ strengths.

Actually as time goes on, everything can change. Take my son as an example; we never expected that he would be able to type on the keyboard so fast today, extremely fast. We never expected that he would be one of the fastest one in his class in the guns disassembling and assembling competition. Life has its own way and all we need to do is take it as it comes and give a little help if necessary.