On May 8, 2011, my father left us for ever. I, together with 2 sisters, was at his bedside when he passed away, without any obvious pain. It was so peaceful that it seemed that he just went to sleep, to a place where there is no suffering or hardship.

It was a little more than a year since he had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He had been fighting against the disease courageously ever since although he knew clearly that it was a losing battle. We didn’t conceal the fact that he had cancer from the very beginning. Being so smart and clear thinking, you just could not possibly hide anything from him.

When advised to quit smoking, he replied frankly, “It was too late. I know you mean well and for the good of my health, but I would not like to change my lifestyle too much.” He then said, “I have lived longer than the average. Everyone will have to go eventually. I’m not afraid of dying. I only wish the pain would go if possible.”

When the disease got worse and worse, and he had to live with the help of morphine, he never uttered a groan of pain. Morphine cannot completely remove the pain, only making it a little more bearable. In the last several weeks before he died, the tumor had grown so big that it touched his back and his front chest. Whenever he moved a bit, we had to rub for him so that the pain would become dull. How miserable and unbearable life can be when one is forced to live such a life, sleeping on only one side 24 hours a day!

Perhaps it was too painful; he once asked me if he could choose to die sooner. However, I know he loved life and he was, actually, unwilling to leave this world. When some of his friends came to see him at the hospital, he even cried since he knew it was the last time to see them. I came to realize that although you can ignore material things, it was not as easy as you imagine to say goodbye to the people you care about so much.

My son came back by air from Beijing specially to attend his grandfather’s funeral. When everything was done and we were finally able to sit down and talk, I said, “Your grandpa has completed his life journey. He was not a great man, but a person who won the respect of everybody around him, which is not easy.”

Every time we lose someone we love, a part of us goes with them. It is difficult for me to accept that the place in the world he once filled is empty. But it is not this emptiness I should focus on, but the memory that now fills it. His dedication to his work, his love for us children, his life guidance, and his integrity will live on in the hearts of those who remember him. And the exquisite chairs he made will remain part of our life. To some extent, we should celebrate what he was able to bring to us all and to this world, while he was still here.