I must confess that I was the laziest student ever; even the homework had done by my classmates. I have got no idea how I had gone through those compulsory school years. Although brother had set up an excellent example for me, I couldn’t help playing with kids. Brother and I were two extremes; he was keen on studying that teachers visited our home very often, and awarded him plenty of certificates of merit. These cannot pall on me a bit nor did I feel ashamed at that time. Mom leaved no stone unturned to let me know how important study is; she failed disappointedly due to that I was a disobedient and mischievous girl. Well, Dad somehow was an austere man who was very strict with us; I only behaved very well when he was home. Fortunately, he was too busy to concern about my study. Thus, I enjoyed playing with buddies thoroughly.

I felt intense humiliation of my lower scores years later, but it was too late to transform my destiny, I doomed to be an unobtrusive student and studied in a subordinate school. So you must know how pernicious inertia is! Soothingly and reassuringly, I did learn some skills in later years. Brother continued his study in a renowned school which I dropped out early.

I hadn’t got the chance to access internet until in August 2006. Heretofore, I have no idea what internet really is though classmates talked lot about QQ, MSN, E-mail and so forth. It was an enigma to me. Dad bought us a set of computer for the sake of studying in the early stages, but we didn’t allow getting the internet. Brother liked to play games with it; I preferred to practice typing skill.

There were myriad students got mesmerized by computer games and went to cyber bar for recreation and surfing. I remembered one of my classmates was addicted to games so much that he had spent two days and one night there. Unfortunately, he was wore out and flopped in front of the computer desk and lost two incisors. The bar proprietor phoned the school to pick him up. What a tragedy! It said that it cost 2.5 Yuan per hours, but I never had a try. I would rather enjoy a frolic in the field with friends.

I was like a dog with two tails to get through the internet and eagerly to discover the mystery. How amazing! It seemed I not only can get all the information I wanted, but also unlimited resources. One day, I stumbled on a website which was absolute temping. It called “Bliao”. Bliao is a website offered us a good platform to make friends, practice oral skills and a chance to appreciate euphonic voices. I had spent several hours in the Chinese chatting rooms but English rooms were more allure albeit I didn’t understand a bit. I was burst with curiosity and dying to be one of them. They were talking mirthfully and merrily. How enjoyable they were! As a result, I started my English learning project.

At the very start, I learned the simplest phonetic symbol from internet video; it was an arduous job for a neophyte indeed. And I attempted to recite the words and expressions for everyday use from Liyang’s 100 days scheme. To be an English speaker was my greatest aspiration. I was always fantasized that I was able to talk with them. English became my crutch as well as momentum to push me forward. After several months’ assiduous struggle I finally got the guts to communicate with them by typing. It was not easy to understand them without a dictionary in hand. Luckily, a friend of mine who is a nice lady, she gave me a handy pocket dictionary. The dictionary was released for its twentieth times in year 1986. It’s as old as antique, it’s real rarity, and I love it.

I learned the phonetic symbol step by step for several months and I thought it was time to launch into pronunciation. I knew it is necessary to put knowledge into practice, otherwise it’s futile. Thankfully, I have got no pressure along the way, because I learned it by inclination. So I can learn it whenever, wherever and whatever, it’s all up to my own. But there were untold stumbling blocks which made me despondent and languid gradually.

When I felt cheerless; I would like to lurk into the English rooms in my spare time just prefer to be a listener and reader. They were my catalysts that stimulated me to keep it up. “How fabulous if I can talk with them blithely”, Ha! I enjoyed using pep-talk to encourage myself a lot. Consequently, I got the impulsion to strive for my desire again. I studied hard on my pronunciation and imposed myself to rehearse the daily words and expressions. I practiced it in my cubicle as crazy as Liyang. Lol… To be successful, one must pay a price---Struggle!

After a period of strenuous study, finally, I got the pluck to make a step further. I bought a microphone, got into the room and applied for the turn. I was quite demure, I quitted just for a few words. Though sheepish somewhat thrilled too. Well, the feeling was unutterable indeed. Anyway, it was a good beginning. I had wallowed in this ambience for several months.

It was the limited vocabulary restrained my verbal ability. So to improve vocabulary was the critical task. You cannot imagine how tough process it was. My friends suggested me to recite article that not only can improve vocabulary but also gain a good sense of language. They chose some prose for my recitation. When I got the paper and gave a glimpse, I was like in a labyrinth that completely disoriented. It felt panicked. Friend comforted me that “One cannot succeed if one does not strive, difficulties are both bad and good, because difficulties force you to solve the problems and train you to be great, so you should progress forward against difficulties”. How sweet to have such a good friend despite she doesn’t know English, she would try all her best to encourage me as well as support. Another friend gave a digital dictionary that shown his support though I seldom use it, because I got used to the handy pocket dictionary. How nice to have good friends like them. Thank you, my dear friends.

 I picked up a pen and looked up into the dictionary, marked down every phonetic symbol and meanings into the paper. The papers looked not plain anymore, it’s colorful. Unhappily, I found I had dyslexic problem, it’s exceedingly hard to understand a passage. I was dejected as if I lost the passion and enthusiasm to hold up. How many times I felt downcast? How many times I wanted to give up? You often soothed me “One will reach one’s destination only if one pursues persistently. Do you know how is iron made? It is burned in raging fires and cooled in extremely low temperature“. Thanks for your unselfish and unconditional support; I succeeded in conquering the difficulties of reading eventually.

 Indeed, all things are difficult before they are easy. We cannot reach the sky in one step. So don’t say no to yourself as you don’t even know how preeminent you will be.

What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? Regardless of my limited English, I was brave enough to intrude into the room and talked with people intrepidly. Chairman Mao said it is necessary to drill as much as possible, and the more you apply it in real situations, the more natural it will become. I was not afraid of making mistakes, let alone losing face. It is common occurrence for a commander to lose or win a battle, right? So who cared it was wrong or right, as long as I dared to speak out. That’s my purpose. Surely, it had not been smooth all the way; I had met many ill-mannered people who must be jealous otherwise why he or she belittled and brittle? I just forgave them I knew it takes all sorts to make a world. So I learned to be strong and not defeated by scoundrels. Grasp the nettle and it won’t sting you. You cannot be brave if you have only had wonderful things happen to you. You are not beaten until you give up.

I found talking cannot help me a lot since I was just repeating the questions or answers. Friends said that read out loud could help. So I decided to find a place to settle down and carry out my dream to be an English speaker. I had chosen VOE as my shelter due to many amicable friends there, in Jan 2009. As I started a topic that I wanted to be an administrator, one friend named “Lan” who was very kind; he or she gave me the authority to take the position and supported my idea of launching a reading programme. I promised Lan that I will insist on the job. Lan disappeared since the last time we chatted. I had inquired all friends Lan’s whereabouts. But it was in vain. That best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love. The pity is that I cannot thank Lan in person.

I had learned the New Concept English Book 1 before I settled down in VOE. I started the morning reading in Feb 2009, the reading materials were optional. Here, I would like to thanks for Admin who offered us a lot of inspirational and motivational reading materials which is thought-provoking. I love many of them.

As times gone by, not many people like reading, they were bored of it. There is no accounting for tastes. I never felt bored only left alone. If a thing is worth doing it is worth doing it well. I transferred my target to New Concept English Books; I started from Book 2, I read every lesson for at least 10 times which drove people crazy. Ha… As the proverb goes “The dog that trots about finds a bone”, and “Always at it wins the day”. Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth. Can you believe that I have finished reading book 2 to 4 for more than twenty times in VOE? Anyway, believe it or not, it’s up to you. The problem is that I still cannot read it well in spite of reading for so many times. It’s quite okay; I know constant dropping wears away a stone. Success in life depends on each day work, but not complaining. No cross not crown.

Don’t look down upon yourself, just like the finest diamond must be cut. What you need to do is to struggle against the rainstorm, and will not hesitate even in the broken ship. If you think you can, then you can.

I have cultivated a habit of jotting every unknown single word down into my mini notebooks which allows me to read conveniently. I also like to use the orthography to note down my times of reading too.

What’s more, I like reading loud in the morning. It said that an hour in the morning is worth two in the evening. Hard work yields joy as well as profit. Now I am capable of reading many books without difficulties. Of course, I don’t have problems of communicating with native English speakers too. If you want to enjoy a more distant view, you have to climb one storey higher. Slow but sure wins the race.

I never leanred the grammar....... Please ignore my mistakes, or I am glad to have your help.

There is a good news I would love to share with you, I participated in a Guangzhou English Speech contest, and I won the first prize for three times, and I got the crystal award in the final round.