who can correct my composion ?(I join a competition)

338522

Success Need Diligent
Do you think you are a clever boy or girl? If you are clever, which ways do you choose to succeed? In all your choices do you choose diligence? A failing man may say “yes “or “no”. But a successful man must say "yes". Because they believe "diligent will not definitely succeed but not industrious will definitely fail.
In my middle school, I met a boy who was very clever but never study. He was always because of playing computer games and forgot to finish his homework. He was always because of talking about the games in the class and was criticized by teacher. He was always because of going to school later and was punished to stand the last row. To my surprise, every exam he always got a good achievement. However, I was always working hard but often failed exam. At the beginning, I wanted to give up but suddenly a sentence appeared in my mind ,”Genius is one percent inspiration and nine percent perspiration” So I believed “I shall definitely succeed” As time went by, an important exam would around corner which decide us to which high middle school. I was still working hard even working harder, but he was still depending on his cleverness. In the end, I went to an ideal high school, but he failed the exam.
Although I am not a clever girl, I am a diligent girl. A diligent girl gets the success.
In my high school, I heard the clever boy begin to study. He was always because of studying and forgot to have lunch. He was always because of wanting to finish the homework and gave up the playing time. He was always because of solving a difficult question and done many times. Finally, he succeeds. He went to an ideal university.
There is a sentence “Genius nothing but labor and diligence “, so I more firmly believe “Although you are very clever, you also need diligence” If you want to be a successful man.
When you meet difficult, don’t give up and insist. Believe a sentence “A diligent girl can win “. Good luck to you!  

Thank you

redapple2

diligence never fails to help someone make way to succeed.

C.Robert

Success Need (needs?) Diligent (Diligence?)

Do you think you are a clever boy or girl? If you are clever, which ways (way?) do you choose to succeed? (to be successful?) In all your choices do you choose diligence? A failing man may say “yes “or “no”. But (don't start a sentence with the word 'but') a successful man must say "yes". Because (don't start a sentence with the word 'because') they believe "diligent will not definitely succeed but not industrious will definitely fail. (what do you want to say here?)

In my middle school, I met a boy who was very clever but never study (studied). He was always (always what?) because of playing computer games and forgot to finish his homework. He was always (always what?) because of talking about the games in the class and (he) was criticized by (his)teacher. He was always (always what?) because of going to school later and (he?) was punished to stand (by putting him in?) the last row. To my surprise, every exam he always got a good achievement.(he got a good result for every exam he made?) However, I was always working hard but often failed (for my) exam (examinations?). At the beginning, I wanted to give up but suddenly a sentence appeared in my mind ,”Genius is one percent inspiration and nine percent perspiration” So I believed “I shall definitely succeed” As time went by, an important exam would (came?) around (the?) corner which decide us to which high middle school (we could go). I was still working hard even working harder, but he was still depending on his cleverness. In the end, I went to an ideal high school, but he failed the exam.

Although I am not a clever girl, I am a diligent girl. A diligent girl gets the success (is more succesful?).

In my high school, I heard the clever boy begin (began?) to study. He was always (always what?) because of studying and forgot to have lunch. He was always (always what?)because of wanting to finish the homework and gave up the playing time. He was always (always what?) because of solving a difficult question and done many times (what do you want to say here?). Finally, he succeeds. He went to an ideal university.

There is a sentence “Genius nothing but labor and diligence “, so I more firmly believe “Although you are very clever, you also need diligence” If you want to be a successful man.

When you meet difficult (difficulties?), don’t give up and insist. Believe a (the?) sentence “A diligent girl can win “. Good luck to you!  



Thank you (your welcome, hehe)

338522

C.Robert: Success Need (needs?) Diligent (Diligence?)

Do you think you are a clever boy or girl? If you are clever, which ways (way?) do you choose to succeed?

thank you very much