BEC写作：BEC名师点评网友作文:Write an email to your team
本期作文题目
You need to inform your marketing team about a radio advertising campaign for one of your company's new products.
Write an email to your team:
* reminding tehm which new product it is
* explaining why you've chosen to advertise on radio
* saying what you expect the advertising campaign to achieve.
Write 40-50 words.
Sample:
It is believed that everyone knows about our new product - TE 128, which will be launch ed recently. We will use radio advertising owing to our budget . I hope that the campaign will cover most of the cusomters we are having now and bring new ones.
网友作文一：
Dear All,
Our new product advertising campain[1] for A02 auto-navigating instrument[2] is coming soon. As you know, radio is the most available for drivers. I believe we will make a gorgeous advertisement suitable for them.
_________________________________________
[1]这个名词结构太长了，另外主体不清楚啊。看清楚题目要求，先remind 大家一下，可以用很多表示提醒的结构。
[2]英文中的"设备"有很多个词，这个词适合乐器，应该搭配musical instrument, 这个地方比较合适用facility 或者 equipment
网友作文二：
To: marketing team
Fr: coco218
Date: Dec. 15th,2008
Subject:a radio advertising campaign for new products
Dear teammate,
A new mobile phone[1] will be the next NEW ARRIVAL.And it will be advertised on radio because of our short of money[2] .I hope our marketing team could make out an attactive advertisement and the sale would hit 20% of the market share[3].
Thanks.
Regards.
_________________________________________
[1]这不对吧，你们公司原来不是做mobile phone 的?改为 new product 比较合适。
[2]Shortage of money
[3]画蛇添足，sale 就是可以冲击新高的，这和market share 有什么关系。
网友作文三：
To:All stuff
From:Manager
Date:Dec.16th 2008
Subject:a radio advertisement of our new products
I want to inform you our radio campaign for the new medicine.I think[1] many elders often listen to the radio and they are the are[2] in most need of our products,also advertising on radio is much cheaper than on TV,we can have more profits[3] or bring down the price[4].
Thank you.
_________________________________________
[1]去掉这种主观的表达。直接用后面的主语开头。
[2]改为the ones
[3]Maximize the margins.
[4]去掉
网友作文四：
To: Marketing team
From: Alvin
Subject: radio advertising campaign for inverter transformer
Dear All,
The inverter transformer[1], as a new product of our company, need an advertisment now. Taking the aim customers'[2] habit into consideration, we decide to advertise on radio. We expect to make people accept our new product and get sale amount of 5 million USD within the first two months.
Thanks!
Best Regards!
_________________________________________
[1]既然是个产品，首字母应该大写
[2]这个叫target customer
网友作文五：
To: all salesmen
From: Joe Lee, Marketing Manager
Subject: launching an ad on radio
I would like to inform all of you that I decide[1] to launch the advertisement of our new product of earphone on radio in that students are one of the major audience of radio and they are also our main consumers.[2]
_________________________________________
[1]改为：it is decided that.....
[2]整个句子太长了
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