名人家书：阿黛尔迪莱乌致姐姐（2）中英双语

　　my one and only，

　　i can scarcely believe that it is a year since you died.in a way it has been the longest year of mylife，and the most terrible，and the darkest.but inanother way it seems only yesterday that i saw youlast……with a faint，beautiful smile on your facebecause you had found peace at last.i stood therebeside the hospital bed，looking down at you as if icould never have enough……numb with grief as therealization swept over me that i had lost you.

　　for so many months you had been in pain.thepoem you wrote about it tore at my heart，for itcame from your heart.you had told me time andagain that you did not fear death，that when it cameyou felt you would welcome it.but you had promised to stay with me as long as you could，andyou had done it，in spite of your wish to go.nowdeath had come as a friend and you were free.

　　it was i who was bound now.bound to life，bound to sorrow，forced to go on without you.

　　i had tried so hard to keep you；i had turnedaway from the inevitable，as if by ignoring it i could vanquish it.standing beside you i knew atlast what i was faced with，and it seemed morethan i could bear.

　　it was after that that i began writing to you，and those letters have made me see how much iowed you and how i gained from you.they havebeen my salvation and perhaps now i am strongenough to go on——not without you，as i hadthought，but with you.for no one，as that perspicacious editor said，is truly dead who isremembered with love.and i have remembered youwith love，with all the love of my heart.

　　and you are with me.when i sit in the needle- point chair you made，you are there.when i raisemy eyes to the walls where your paintings hang，you are there.when i am at the table and gaze atthe doilies you embroidered，when i lie in bedunder the afghans you crocheted，when i dress fordinner and put on the gold bracelet and theearrings you made for me，you are there.yourbooks line the shelves，your poems are there to beread over and over，your speaking eyes look out atme from the photograph on my desk.

　　i can never lose you，my gallant one.i haveonly to remember the laughter we shared，the dayswe spent together，the inspiration of your struggle against pain，the spirit with which you met life，andi am enriched and enobled.now i know that i cannever lose you because i have remembered youwith love，and you will abide with me to the end of my days.

　　我的唯一：

　　我几乎不敢相信你已经离开我整整一年了。从一方面说，这是我生命中最漫长的一年，最可怕的一年，也是最黑暗的一年。但从另一方面说，似乎我们那次最后的相见就发生在昨天，你脸上带着淡淡的、美丽的微笑，因为你终于找到了安宁。我站在病床前，注视着你，似乎永远也看不够……当我意识到我已失去了你的时候，由于悲伤我变得麻木了。

　　你在病痛中生活了那么久。你为此而写的那首诗让我心如刀绞，因为这来自于你的内心。你时常告诉我，你不惧怕死亡，当死亡来临时你会愉快地迎接它。但你也曾许诺尽可能长久地与我待在一起，你的确如此做了，尽管你希望自己离去。现在死亡像朋友一样到来了，你得到自由了。

　　而我如今却被束缚住了。我被束缚在生活中、束缚在悲痛中，失去了你，我被迫独自继续生活下去。

　　我曾经努力地挽留你；我曾经回避那不可回避的事实，似乎只要我忽视它就可以战胜它。当我站在你的身旁，我才最终知道我面对的是什么，这几乎使我无法承受。

　　正是从那时起，我开始给你写信，那些信使我明白我欠了你那么多，我从你那里得到了那么多。那些信拯救了我，也许现在我已能足够坚强地生活下去——不是如我过去所认为的那样失去了你，而是与你同在。如同那语言清晰完美的编辑所说的那样，被人们满怀爱戴之情回忆的人是不会真正死去的，而我正是满怀爱戴之情回忆你，用我心里的全部的爱。

　　你与我同在。当我坐在你做的针绣花边的椅子上时，你就在那儿。当我抬头看看挂着你的画的墙壁时，你就在那儿。当我坐在桌旁，凝视着你绣的小垫布时，当我躺在床上，盖着你用钧针编织的软毛毯时，当我为参加晚宴着装，戴上你为我做的金手镯和耳环时，你就在那儿。你的书籍排列在书架上，你的诗歌被我读了一遍又一遍，你那会说话的眼睛从我书桌上的照片里凝视着我。