Kids deep in thoughtⅠ
From an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
―― Age 15
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
―― Age 13
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.
―― Age 8
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote.
―― Age 10
Home is where the house is.
―― Age 6
I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
―― Age 13
I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he sucks.
―― Age 15
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
―― Age 6
My younger brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth――that most of us go to hell and burn eternally――but I didn't want to upset him.
―― Age 10
译文:
摘自一份真实的报纸竞赛, 在这项比赛中, 要求4-15岁的参赛者在语言上模仿杰克・ 汉狄的"深思".
我认为你应当把每一天都当作你的末日来过, 这就是为什么我没有干净的衣服穿, 因为, 你想想, 谁想在他们生命的最后一天还洗衣服呢?
――15岁
请给我力量, 来改变我能做到的, 请给我恩赐, 来接受我不能做到的和一大袋子钱.
―― 13岁
如果总统生日那天我们能放假当然很好, 就像他们给女王过生日一样. 当然, 我们还要让许多人来投票, 选举出一名出生于7月3日或12月26日的候选人, 就是为了能过个长周末.
―― 8岁
民主是件很好的事, 除了那个允许随便一个老乡巴佬投票的部分以外.
――10岁
家就是房子所在地.
―― 6岁
我打赌生活在一个裸体营中, 会带给你万圣节全部的乐趣.
―― 13岁
我常常奇怪为什么约翰・泰斯不象一些人认为的那样是个受欢迎的歌手. 当时,我记得那是因为他很差.
―― 15岁
几百年来, 人们认为月亮是由新鲜奶酪制成的. 之后, 宇航员发现月亮实际上是个大的坚硬的石头. 当你遗忘了奶酪的时候, 知道它会发生什么了吧.
―― 6岁
我弟弟问我, 我们死后会怎样. 我告诉他, 我们被埋在一把泥土下, 虫子吃我们的身体. 我想我本应该告诉他真相的-我们大多数人都要进地狱并永远焚烧掉-但是我不想令他感觉不舒服.
―― 10岁
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