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英语六级14分作文范文批改2

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  英语六级待批改作文:

  Nowadays, more and more people are attracted by TV shows. It is a great shock in China and many youngsters want to attend this shows because they want become famous overnight.

  The advantages of the TV shows are clear to many people. To begin with, some young people think that the TV shows is a good ideal. It can provide a chance to show their talents. What’s more , it can enriching audiences’ spiritual world. Last but not least, in terms of business, the shows can help the channels achieve huge incomes.

 

  It can be justified without exaggeration that everything has two sides. TV shows is a good way to make success but not the only way. I advise young people should think twice before attend the shows. To say the least, if they decide to attend the TV show, they should keep balance with shows and learning.

  英语六级作文批改如下:


  Nowadays, more and more people are attracted by TV shows. It is a great shock in China and many youngsters want to attend this shows because they want become famous overnight.
    The advantages of the TV shows are clear to many people. To begin with, some young people think that the TV shows is a good ideal(翻译不通). It can provide a chance to show their talents. What’s more, it can enriching(改为enrich)audiences’ spiritual world. Last but not least, in terms of business, the shows can help the channels achieve huge incomes.
    It can be justified without exaggeration that everything has two sides. TV shows is a good way to make success(改为succeed) but not the only way. I advise young people should think twice before attend the shows. To say the least, if they decide to attend the TV show, they should keep balance with shows and learning.
  同学你好,作文写的还不错,而且句型也有变化。但是第三段最好以你认为…开头,所以缺少了写创意,但是不至于让批卷老师因为“眼花”而认为你是跑题,因为他们工作量很大,看作文时都是找标志性的语句。

 

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