美文好心情：论家庭（培根）

THE joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs and fears. They cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other. Children sweeten labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter. They increase the cares of life; but they mitigate the remembrance of death. The perpetuity by generation is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works, are proper to men. And surely a man shall see the noblest works and foundations have proceeded from childless men; which have sought to express the images of their minds, where those of their bodies have failed. So the care of posterity is most in them, that have no posterity. They that are the first raisers of their houses, are most indulgent towards their children; beholding them as the continuance, not only of their kind, but of their work; and so both children and creatures.

The difference in affection, of parents towards their several children, is many times unequal; and sometimes unworthy; especially in the mothers; as Solomon saith, A wise son rejoiceth the father, but an ungracious son shames the mother. A man shall see, where there is a house full of children, one or two of the eldest respected, and the youngest made wantons; but in the midst, some that are as it were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best. The illiberality of parents, in allowance towards their children, is an harmful error; makes them base; acquaints them with shifts; makes them sort with mean company; and makes them surfeit more when they come to plenty. And therefore the proof is best, when men keep their authority towards the children, but not heir purse. Men have a foolish manner (both parents and schoolmasters and servants) in creating and breeding an emulation between brothers, during childhood, which many times sorteth to discord when they are men, and disturbeth families.

The Italians make little difference between children, and nephews or near kinsfolks; but so they be of the lump, they care not though they pass not through their own body. And, to say truth, in nature it is much a like matter; insomuch that we see a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, or a kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood happens. Let parents choose betimes, the vocations and courses they mean their children should take; for then they are most flexible; and let them not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as thinking they will take best to that, which they have most mind to. It is true, that if the affection or aptness of the children be extraordinary, then it is good not to cross it; but generally the precept is good, optimum elige, suave et facile illud faciet consuetudo. Younger brothers are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never where the elder are disinherite

在子女面前，父母要善于隐藏他们的一切快乐、烦恼与恐惧。他们的快乐无须说，而他们的烦恼与恐惧则不能说。子女使他们的劳苦变甜，但也使他们的不幸更苦。子女增加了他们的负担，但却减轻了他们对死的恐惧。

一切生物都能通过生殖留下后代，但只有人类能通过后代下美名、事业和德行。然而，为什么有的没有留下后代者却留下了 流芳百世的功业？因为他们虽然未能复制一种肉体，却全力以赴地复制了一种精神。因此这种无后继的人其实倒是最关心后事的人。创业者对子女期望最大，因为子女被他们看作不但是族类的继承者，又是所创事业的一部分。

作为父母，特别是母亲，对子女常常会有不合理的偏爱。所罗 门曾告诫人们：“智慧之子使父亲快乐，愚昧之子使母亲蒙羞。”在家庭中，最大或最小的孩子都可能得到优遇。唯有居中的子女容易受到忘却，但他们却往往是最有出息的。

在子女小时不应对他们过于苛吝。否则会使他们变得卑贱，甚至投机取巧，以至堕入下流，即使后来有了财富时也不会正当利用。聪明的父母对子女在管理上是严格的，而在用钱上不妨略宽松，这常常是有好效果的。

作为成年人，绝不应在一家的兄弟之间挑动竞争，以至积隙成仇，使兄弟间直到成年，依然不和。意大利风俗对子女和侄 一视同仁，亲密无间。这是很可取的。因为这种风俗很合于自然的血统关系。许多侄子不是更像他的一位叔、伯，而不象父亲吗？

在子女还小时，父母就应当考虑他们将来的职业方向并加以培养，因为这时他们最易塑造。但在这一点上要注意，并不是孩子小时候所喜欢的，也就是他们终生所愿从事的。如果孩子确有某种超群的天才，那当然应该扶植发展。但就一般情况说，下面这句格言是很有用的：“长期的训练会通过适应化难为易。”还应当注意，子女中那种得不到遗产继承权的幼子，常常会通过自身的奋斗获得好的发展。而坐享其成者，却很少能成大业.

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