赖世雄读英语笑话学英语之英语乐趣(1)：古老的中国智慧(双语)
Unit 1 Ancient Chinese Wisdom 古老的中国智慧
Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemed physicians could find a cure, until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foo bird could restore the imperial health.
很久很久以前在古老的中国，皇帝病得很重，所有德高望重的御医都没办法医治，直到后来才有一位智者透露，只有活福鸟的血才能恢复皇帝的健康。
Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almost legendary, and the greatest hunters in the land were assigned the task of capturing a specimen—but before they left on their quest, the ancient sage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should on no account clean of change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.
问题是福鸟本来就很少见，几乎只是传说而已，于是全国各地最好的猎人都被指派进行捕捉福鸟的工作。但在他们出发之前，那名智者警告他们，要是有人有幸捉到一只福鸟的话，无论如何在送到皇帝手中之前，绝不可以清洁或换掉身上的衣服。
The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted a magnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the bird and managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blob of excrement on the hunter’s shoulder.
猎人们搜遍了整个帝国，几个月后，其中一名本领最好的猎人不经意看见了一只福鸟栖息在一棵树上。他用尽所有技巧偷偷接近那只福鸟并抓住了它的脚爪，但那只受到惊吓的福鸟马上在他的肩膀上拉了一大团臭气熏人的鸟粪。
Though the stench was almost unbearable, the woodsman remembered the sage’s injunction and carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had only become worse, and the hunter was deeply embarrassed. Finally, he felt that he could not enter the emperor’s presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from his shoulder.
虽然臭味难当，但猎人仍记得智者的训示，便连同身上的鸟粪护送福鸟回宫。那时鸟粪的味道更难闻了，猎人也觉得非常尴尬。最后他觉得不能那个样子去见皇帝，于是他把肩膀上令人作呕的东西擦拭掉了。
Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, the emperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunter was clapped in irons.
就在那一刻福鸟便倒地身亡，皇帝的病情也更加恶化，而那名猎人则立刻被关进牢中。
And the moral of the story: If the Foo shits, wear it!
这个故事的寓意就是“：福鸟在你身上拉尿，你就扛着。”
英语知识点解说：
1.ancient a. 古代的
2.emperor 皇帝
3.esteem vt & n. 尊敬
hold sb in (high) esteem （非常）尊敬某人
例：Though you hold the mayor in high esteem, you may still question his policies.
（虽然你非常尊敬市长，你还是可以质问他的施政方针。）
4.cure vt. & n. 治疗
cure sb of +疾病 治疗某人的疾病
=cure one's +疾病
例："This will kill you or cure you of your disease," said the witch doctor.
（“这贴药可能要你命，也可能治好你的病，”巫医说道。）
5.sage n. 贤人；智者
6.reveal vt. 揭发；泄露
例：The gangster refused to reveal the source of his income.
（那位被诬告的部长被复职了。）
7.restore vt. 恢复；重建
例：The falsely accused minister was restored to his post.
（那名帮派分子拒绝透露他的钱是从哪儿来的。）
8.imperial a. 皇帝的
9.extremely adv. 极端的
10.legendary a. 传说的
legend n. 传奇；图例
Legend has it that... 传说……
=Rumor has it that...
=Word has it that...
例：Legend has it that there's a beautiful lady on the moon.
（传说月亮上住着一位美女。）
11.assign vt. 分派；指定
assignment n. 分配；作业
例：Can I copy your homework assignment?
（我可以抄你的家庭作业吗？）
12.capture vt. & n. 捕获
13.specumen n. 样本
14.quest n. 寻找；探求
in quest of... 为了寻求……
例：Ted neglected all else in quest of an Olympic medal.
（泰德抛弃一切，全心全意为赢得一枚奥运奖牌而努力。）
15.on no account 绝不
=by no means
=under no circumstances
例：Under no circumstances are you to open this door.
（你绝不可打开这扇门。）
16.clothing n. 衣服（集合名词，不可数）
17.prize n. 捕获物；奖赏；珍贵之物 & vt. 珍惜（= value）
win first/second/third... prize 赢得第一/第二/第三……奖（此处 first、second、third 等序数词之前不得加 the）
例：I would prize your advice more highly if it were right.
（如果你的忠告是正确的话，我会更加珍惜它。）
18.scour vt. 扫荡；四处搜索
例：The prince scoured the country looking for Cinderella.
（王子搜遍了全车找寻灰姑娘。）
19.perch vt. & vi. 栖息（通常用于被动语态）
例：I see three birds perched high in the tree.
（我看到树头上有三只鸟栖息在那儿。）
20.huntsman n. 猎人（=hunter）
21.sneak vi 偷偷地走
三态为：sneak、sneaked/snuck、sneaked/snuck。
sneak into the room 偷偷溜进房间
22.seize vt. 捕捉；把握
seize sb by the + 部位 抓住某人的某一部位
例：The powerful man seized his adversary by the throat and shook him like a rag doll.
（那位强壮的老兄抓住他对手的喉咙像布娃娃一样摇动着。）
A successful campaigner must seize the moment.
（成功的竞选者必须掌握时机。）
23.claw n. 爪
24.startle vt. 使吃惊
startled vt. 感到吃惊的
startling a. 吓人的
例：I don't mean to startle you, but there's a spider on your neck.
（我不是有意要吓你，但是你的脖子有只蜘蛛。）
There was a startling report on the news yesterday; they discovered a ploitician who actually told the truth!
（昨天的新闻有一则吓人的报道，他们发现有位政客居然说实话！）
25.creature n. 生物
26.odious a. 惹人讨厌的
27.blob n. 一滴，一团
28.excrement n. 粪便
29.stench n. 臭气
30.unbearable a. 不能忍受的
31.woodsman n. 习于山林活动的人；伐木者
32.injunction n. 训令
33.burden n. 负担
shoulder one's burden 负起责任
例：Whatever it may be, one must shoulder one's burden manfully.
（无论事情多么艰巨，一个人都应勇敢地负起责任。）
34.odor n. 臭味
35.in such a state 在这样的状况
例：How dare you arrive at work in such a state of drunkenness!
（你好大胆竟然喝得醉醺醺地来上班！）
36.offending a. 冒犯的；令人讨厌的
例：His offending remark made me angry.
（他那令人不舒服的言论令我生气。）
37.take a turn for the worse 情况越来越糟
38.clap vt. 急速而伶俐地处理
clap sb in irons 立刻将某人关进牢里 irons 指监狱牢房的铁栏杆）
=clap sb in jail
=clap sb in prison
例：The smuggler was clapped in jail as soon as he crossed the border.
（走私者一过边境立刻就被逮捕入狱。）
39.moral n. 寓意；教训 & a. 道德的
例：A fable is a story that conveys a moral.
（寓言是一篇表达哲理的故事。）
If the shoe fits, wear it.
（如果这只鞋子大小合适的话，穿着它。本句为谚语，引申为机会来临时要好好掌握。）
本文最后一句"If the Foo shits, wear it!" 即由此句转变而来。
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