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经典英语小笑话

2018-11-20 阅读 :
英语笑话(一)

老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”

小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?

老师说:Go ahead.

小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?

老师说:Go ahead.

小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?

小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!

英语笑话(二)

某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!

英语笑话(三)

江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻,江青心花怒 放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。

翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where? Where?" 外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere, everywhere."

翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."

英语笑话(四)

话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大 拇指道:「I AM后羿!」

B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「I AM丘比特!」

轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出! 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」

英语笑话(五)

某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞, 忙说:I am sorry.

老外应道:I am sorry too.

某人听后又道:I am sorry three.

老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?

某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.

英语笑话(六)

一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOKOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说: “oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”

后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!”

日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer(计 程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”

英语笑话(七)

英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思”

学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?”

老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you ?是什么意思?”

这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你。”

英语笑话(八)

某男,粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是sex。

该男思之久已,毅然下笔:“Once a week“。

签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.“

该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female“,官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it be male?“

男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”

英语笑话(九)

一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。

他不放心的问道:turn left?

监考官回答:right.

于是他立刻向右转。

很抱歉他只有下次再来。

英语笑话(十)

传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世,上帝搞错了,把克林顿送上了天堂,而把教皇送入了

地狱。发现错误后上帝马上改了回来,路上二人相遇。

教皇:感谢上帝,我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了(Virgin Maria).

克林顿(坏笑中):Sorry,it"s too late.

英语笑话(十一)

A:What’s on your hand?

B:Watch.

A:How to spell that?

B:T-H-A-T~

英语笑话(十二)

女:say“i love you”,say it,come on!say it!

男:it!

更多 英语笑话英语小笑话英文笑话英语幽默小故事,请继续关注 英语作文大全


本文标题:经典英语小笑话 - 英语笑话_英文笑话_英语幽默小故事
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