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英语笑话笑死人不偿命53: 先享受后付款(双语)

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先享受后付款

Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,

花花公子杰克喜欢到世界各地探险,和许多妓女风流,

but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more than fond memories.

但在香港,他终于遇到一名职业神女,这名神女留给他的不止是温柔的回忆而已。

First, he consulted a British doctor.

首先他请教了一名英国医生。

"Goocl Lord!" exclaimed the medic,

“我的天啊!”医生叫道,

"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook.  I'm afraid we' re going to have to amputate. "

“你所患的性病比一本医学教科书还要丰富,恐怕我们必须把你的东西切除掉。”

Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,

花花公子心生恐惧,便找了一位美国专科医师帮忙,但那名专科医师表情凝重地摇头说:

"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "

“对不起,小兄弟,如果我们不切除那活儿,病毒将会感染到其他器官。”

Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.

那名风流公子走投无路,便向一位中医请教。

The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.

这位充满智慧的老先生仔细检查病人后煞有介事地点头说道: 

"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "

“我知道你的问题。你和坏女人乱搞,她的性病很严重,你现在的病情也很严重。…

“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off. . . "

“大夫,英国和美国的医生都说我的东西必须要切除……”

"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "

“这些西医所做的就是切,切,切,然后收一大笔钱。”

"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.

“你意思是我可以不用动外科手术?!”年轻人喜出望外地问道。

"Don't you worry,  " said the ancient practitioner.

“别担心,”老中医师说:

"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."

“回家去,好好休息一阵,等二三个星期后,那活儿会自己掉下来。”

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