外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹57：春季种植 (中英)
The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients，demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediate1y. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest… and on，and on.
一位将军因为一点小病在一所军队医院里接受治疗。整整一周他都在挑刺找麻烦，这使医院的工作人员和病友们对他很反感。他苛刻的要求他的每个命令都要得到执行。他住在一个六人病房里，他的饭不能是凉的，也不能不合他的口味，就连灯光也要调到他需要的亮度，夜里有什么动静也不能影响他的休息，等等。
One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your temperature, General.”
一天下午一个勤务兵走进病房。“该测体温了，将军。”
After growling at the orderly，the general opened his mouth to accept the thermometer.
在和这个勤务兵咆哮了一通之后，将军张开了他的嘴同意测量体温。
"Sorry, General，but for this test we need your temperature from the other end.”
“对不起，将军，但是这回要测的是您直肠温度。”
A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that and don' t move. I’11 be back in five minutes to check up on you and withdraw.”
又一阵疯狂的言语辱骂之后，那个勤务兵执意坚持要测的是直肠体温。最后，将军翻了过去，脱下了裤子，接着卫兵开始了测量。那个勤务兵对将军说:“就这样不要动，我五分钟后回来检查后再拿出来。”
An hour later, the head nurse entered the room. saw the general with his bare rear in the air and gasped，" W hat’s going on here?”
一个小时之后，护十长走进病房，看见将军露着他的屁股就问:“这是怎么回事？”
"Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" the general barked.
“你没看见有人正在接受体温测量吗?”那个将军大声嚷道。
"Yes I have，General，but with a daffodil?"
“是的，我看见了。将军，但是那不是温度计而是一棵水仙呀。”
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