English Humor Part 6

Is He a Good Doctor?An American visiting a remote area in South America became sick. “I have to see a doctor,” he told a local. “How can I know which doctor is a good one?”“It's easy,” was the reply. “Every time a doctor loses a patient, it's our law that he must fly a balloon above his office.”So the American began his search. One doctor flew 20 balloons, another 30. Finally the American found an office that was flying only five, and he went in.“You will have to wait,” the doctor told him. “For someone who only started practice yesterday, I've been very busy.”　Sold OutIn a bookshop, a writer found all the books on the shelves were written by him. He was very pleased. “Where are the other writers' books?” he asked. “They have been sold out.” was the answer.　The Last WarningAlice was a secretary She was always late for work. Whenever she was late, she would tell the boss that her watch was slow.One morning Alice was late again. The boss was very angry. He shouted at her, “I say, Alice, if you don't change your watch. I'll change my secretary!”　A Clever BoyIt was a very hot summer afternoon. The sun was shining brightly. A very tall and fat woman was walking along the street. She felt uneasy because a schoolboy was following her closely. She began to walk faster, and the boy walked slowly, too! At last the woman stopped. She turned round and looked at the boy.“Tell me, sonny,” she asked. “Why are you following me?”“Oh, sorry, madam,” said the boy, “but it's cooler walking in the shade behind you.”　I Didn't Need It ThenA poor man went into a doctor's office. He looked very sad. “Doctor,” he said,” you must help me. I…I swallowed a dime two months ago.” “Oh, God!” said the doctor. “Why didn't you come to me on the day when you swallowed it?”“To tell you truth, Doctor,” the man replied, “I didn't need it so much then.”　You Are the SeventhOne morning, John left his house with six donkeys to go to the market. After a time, he got very tired and got on one of them. He counted the donkeys, and there were only five, so he got off and went to look for the sixth. He looked and looked but did not find it. So he went back to the donkeys and counted them again. This time there were six, so he got on one of them again, and they all started.After a few minutes, he counted the donkeys again, and again there were only five! While he was counting again, a friend of his passed, and John said to him, “I left my house with six donkeys; then, I had five; then, I had six again; and now I have only five! Look! One, two, three, four, five.”“But, John,” said his friend, “you are sitting on a donkey too! That is the sixth! And you are the seventh!”　Mother and SonOne day Mother looked at Tom's shoes and said, “Tom, lock at your shoes. How dirty they are! You must clean them.”“Oh, Mother, but I cleaned them only yesterday,” said the boy.“But they are dirty now, You must clean them again.”“I don't want to clean them today; even if I clean them today, they will be dirty again tomorrow.”Tom's mother thought for a moment and said, “All right, Don't clean them then.”In the evening Tom came back from school. He was very hungry.“Mother, give me something to eat, please,” he said“You had your breakfast in the morning, Tom, and you had your lunch at school,” his mother said, smiling.“I'm hungry again now,” cried the boy.“Oh, really? But even if I give you something to eat today, you will be hungry again tomorrow.”

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